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I'm in a similiar situation and I talk to my son (2 months shy of 13yoa) when we are in the car. He's in the passenger seat and we are both facing forward. This is ideal because, unlike girls, boys do not prefer face to face conversation. I tell him things in small doses. i don't ask questions but bring up topics that may be sparked by a song lyric, a tv show or a commercial I've seen and believe he has seen too. He had sex ED in 5th grade and I started talking candidly about sex and girls during that same time. I impress upon him that he should always be nice to girls - ie with respect - but 'nice' is a word he can translate into his world. I have found even tho he is not prone to deep heart to hearts he does use our car rides to ask sensitive questions. So he knows he can talk to me and I never judge or question why he's asking a certain thing but I may take it as a cue to ask him something, sometimes at a different time. I also will talk to him when we are working in the yard together - ie not looking at each other and busy with something else. It's casual and non confrontational. Keep in mind for the next few years anything addressed headon will feel uncomfortable for him. Coming in, unnoticed as it were, from the side lines gets me closer then approaching the elusive youth psychy headon. And remember, no judgement just guidance. So far its working for me. But this age is iffy. If you find something else that helps/works please share with me! Good luck.