Stuff That No One Tells You

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10 things every new mom wishes she could say out loud

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Behold the joys of new motherhood. Sore lady bits, postpartum jiggles, and exhaustion beyond all human comprehension are just a few of the things new mothers trade for a baby more perfect and beautiful than they could have ever imagined.

While my fellow mothers and I would gladly do it all over again, it doesn’t mean new motherhood is easy.

As the proud mother of two, I can honestly say that new moms deserve the benefits of time and space. As much as I appreciated the steady flow of visitors after delivery, I found myself wishing there was some sort of mandatory waiting period. Seriously people, I just had a baby; please leave me alone. I’m sore everywhere, it hurts to pee, I’m scared to poop, and I’m pretty sure my breasts might just launch missiles … at your face.

Is it really so much to ask of our newborn-addicted public to patiently wait until the swelling in our southern regions goes down? And if it is, perhaps the best compromise requires well-wishers to be put to good use. Heaven knows, a new mama could surely use the help!

It’s not that new mothers don’t appreciate the attention friends and family want to bestow upon baby; it’s just that she’s navigating tidal waves of exhaustion, elation, and hormones seeking new balance. If you’re wondering what all of this means for you, I’ll tell you: New moms are in survival mode, a mode lacking the time or energy to be wasted on social pleasantries. As such, we the public owe it to new moms to offer assistance without expectation. May we never have to learn the hard way that hell hath no fury like a new mother’s inhibited tongue.

Click here to see the 10 things every new mother wishes she could say out loud!

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