Not too long ago, I found one of my
Never heard of a pregnancy journal?
It's a book in which expecting moms document the food cravings, nightly wacky
dreams and monthly torturous weigh-ins of pregnancy. In other words, it's a journal
full of writing, photo prompts and milestone documentation with which pregnant
ladies torment themselves for the nine months before they get to start
stressing about keeping up-to-date on writing, photo prompts and milestone
documentation in the baby book.
I immediately assumed this particular
journal was from when I was pregnant with my first baby, since there was
actually some stuff written in it (which is more than I can say for my
subsequent kids). And as I read, it became increasingly clear that my
assumption was correct based on how hilariously first-time-mom-ish everything
was that I'd written.
Of course, that's easy for me to say
now, after plugging away at this mom stuff for 12 years. I'm certainly not
judging myself, or any first-time mom, for having these thoughts, feelings and
questions — they're perfectly normal. But that didn't stop me from laughing at
myself. A LOT.
So in case you've ever wanted a peek
into the craziness that is a pregnant first-time mom, here are some actual,
verbatim quotes taken directly from my journal:
"Questions to Ask the
Doctor: What can I do about the nausea caused by my prenatal vitamins?"
"My mom said she bought me
some maternity clothes. :) I can't wait until I need to wear them!"
Ahh, maternity clothes. Like Spanx,
you can't wait to get into them at first — and then you just can't wait to get
out of them.
"My Fourth-Month Doctor
Visit — Weight = 168!!! <---EEK! I can't believe how big I'm getting!"
Uh, shut up, Me From 12 Years Ago — that's less than I weigh NOW.
"I love to prop my feet up
and read about the stages of development."
If I had known that would be the last
time I'd ever prop my feet up, I probably would have read one of those novels
I'm always complaining I don't have time to read, instead of articles
explaining what kind of walnut my fetus resembled.
"I am so tired ALL THE
TIME!! It's sort of nice, though — I don't feel bad about going to bed early or
sleeping in as long as I want (when I don't have to work). I've even enjoyed
some afternoon naps!"
It's okay, don't get up. I'll punch
me for you.
"I've been feeling kind of
funny, so to be safe I stopped exercising for a few days."
What? I was exercising while I was
pregnant?!? I don't even know who I am anymore. Note to First-Time-Mom-Me: I
stopped exercising for a few days, too! That was eight years ago.