As a new mom, I have experienced an outpour of love and
kindness, even from complete strangers. But there are of course those select
few who just don’t have the whole “tact” thing down yet. Here are a few things
one simply must never say to a new mom — unless you want her to burst out in
tears, because those hormones are still crazy, folks.
No, I do not know what worked for your kid, and frankly I do
not care. My kid is not your kid. Thanks, but no thanks.
2. “Is your baby sleeping through the night?”
Way to rub salt in my sleep-deprived wounds.
THIS IS THE POINT OF CONTENTION FOR ALL NEW MOMS. We stress
over it and it keeps us up at night … quite literally. We eat, sleep and breathe
“how to get my baby to sleep through the night.” Your asking me is not helping.
It is only reminding me of my failures. Way to rub salt in my sleep-deprived
3. “When are you going to have another one?”
Um. Hi. I just shot one out of my lady parts and haven’t
even recovered from that traumatic experience yet. Please, give me time,
4. “Did it hurt?”
Nah, it didn’t hurt at all! I squeezed something the size of
a large watermelon out of something the size of a quarter, but no, no, it
didn’t hurt one bit! It actually felt GOOD! You should try it sometime!
5. “How did you come up with THAT name?”
Really, the emphasis is what pushes this one out of the
water. When said in this way, there is only one way to take it, and that is as
6. “You look tired. You should take a nap!”
Well, first of all, I look tired because I am tired.
Well, first of all, I look tired because I am tired. And not
just your average everyday tired. This particular “tired” is on a whole new
playing field. And I would love to nap. It’s actually all I think about: sleeping and napping. I’ll be sure to do that, in all of the free time that I have
now that I’m a mom.
7. “I never see you any more!”
I’m taking care of an infant, who still hasn’t figured out
his days from his nights, and I more than likely have spit up on my shirt and
haven’t bathed in a few days. If you want to see me, make food (a lot of food)
and give me a call. I’ll be glad to open the door for you! But please, keep it
short and sweet. Remember, I’m tired.
8. “Your baby sure does cry a lot!”
He’s a baby! He cries! That’s what they do! There is no need
to point out his sole form of communication, no matter how frequently you might
feel that it is happening. It will only make me feel insecure in my own
parenting, and I’m sure that’s not what you want.
Well, don’t get me wrong, being a mom is the greatest thing
in the world, and I’m loving it. But every single moment? Come on. Not to be a
Negative Nancy, but there are some moments that just aren’t very enjoyable and
I’d rather forget. The plus side is, the good moments far outweigh the
not-so-good ones. Which is why people end up having more babies, right?