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5 Things I Never Thought I’d Be OK With

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I had a whole life before I had kids. Hard to believe it, but I did. In fact, before my kiddies were born, I was a very different type of person. Maybe you were, too? Maybe you thought vomit was gross, maybe you liked to keep your home clean. And you never, ever, would tell your girlfriends about what’s going on with your boobs. But now you’ve got kids, and now you do.

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Here’s my list of things of 5 things I never thought I’d be okay with (but now I am):

1. The mess

Once upon a time, I was a neat person who prided herself on a clean kitchen (that was never used), a perfectly organized house and an immaculate wardrobe. Since entering Mommyland, I’ve learned to embrace the mess. With two kids running around, I use my kitchen constantly, and nothing’s ever in the right spot. I wear yoga pants more days than not, and they are seldom clean (I’m not the only one whose kids use her pants as a napkin, right?). There’s cereal on the floor, and don’t even get me started on what’s between the couch cushions. But you know what? I don’t mind it one bit.

2. Lack of sleep

Back in college, I was known as the girl who could sleep past noon on any given day. When I was single, living in Manhattan, there was even an unspoken rule amongst friends and family: You do not call my apartment before 1 p.m. on weekends. That all changed when I had my first child. The middle of the night feedings, the early wake up calls ... now have such a full day already by 12 that by then, I need a nap.

3. Poop

Once you’ve got little ones, you learn to do diaper changes literally anywhere.

Before I had kids, I was like most normal people. I felt that bathroom things should stay in the bathroom. But once you’ve got little ones, you learn to do diaper changes literally anywhere. Cleaning up a dirty bottom just no longer fazes me. I’m not saying that I like it in any way shape or form (I mean, let’s not get crazy), I just don’t freak out anymore.

4. Vomit

Same goes for vomit! I used to be one of those people who would throw up if someone else threw up, but there’s something about having kids. You will do literally anything to keep them clean and healthy and safe. If that means waking up in the middle of the night to a sick child and changing the sheets, running the washing machine and doing a quick bath at 3 a.m., then so be it.

5. Talking about boobs

I didn’t know it was acceptable to talk about boobs quite this much before I had kids. But there’s something about having a baby and then breastfeeding that really makes you want to talk about boobs. Your boobs, your friends’ boobs — you get the picture. When I started breastfeeding my first son, it was literally all I wanted to talk about. I sought out friends who were breastfeeding or had done it before because all I wanted to talk about was my milk production, breast pumps and leakage. All. Day. Long. I couldn’t stop. It's not exactly nice dinner time conversation.

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Now that my kids are older and I’m no longer breastfeeding, I don’t want to talk about breastfeeding all day long. But I still find myself, sometimes, talking to friends about boobage. Only now the conversation has more to do with what our boobs look like after breastfeeding multiple kids. Thank God for good bras with strong underwire.

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