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You Know You’re An Older Mom When …

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There are many benefits to having kids later in life: You’re more settled and secure; you know who you are; you’ve already had a chance to see the world before making that lengthy stop in Diaper Town. That said, being an older mom also has some liabilities, like permanent exhaustion and very stubborn baby weight.

Does any of this sound familiar? Are you just a wee bit older than the average mom on the street? Here’s how to tell! You know you’re an older mom when …

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1. The second trimester is just as debilitating as the first trimester.

2. You need bifocals to change the batteries in the ExerSaucer.

3. Everyone in Mommy & Me is having 30th birthday parties while you are celebrating your 40th.

4. You could be your babysitter’s mother.

5. You cut yourself some parenting slack because you’re old enough to remember riding in the “way back” with no car seat while your mom puffed Virginia Slims and your dad drank a Miller.

6. To play your favorite music for your kids, you have to tune into the oldies station. (How the hell are The Go-Go’s oldies?)

7. No need for the vasectomy talk—you are your own best birth control.

8. You have to Google all the acronyms the kids are using on social media, like FML and IMHO. But points for being on social media!

9. You’re afraid to give shoulder rides, not because it’s dangerous up there, but because of what might happen to your back.

10. No one is mistaking you for the au pair. They might, however, think you are the grandma (gasp).

11. Your aging parents keep giving you that “why couldn’t you have done this sooner?” look when your toddler demands horsey rides.

12. You’re secretly hoping your kids decide to have their own families right out of college so you can close the gap.

13. You find yourself wishing they made high fiber Cap’n Crunch.

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