As soon as I found out I was pregnant
I rationalized the need to buy a fancy-shmancy camera. I know nothing about cameras, but definitely
knew that I need a lot of buttons and the ability to rotate the front lens
(that’s what makes it legit).
Here’s the problem … I’m really bad at
learning new technology. Manuals,
instructions, directions — what are things I use to start a bonfire?!?! Ding, ding! There is something in my body’s chemistry that actually prevents me from
reading one. I tried once and the level
of testosterone-infused rage that filled my body was not healthy.
Regardless, I went out and bought the Canon
T5i DSLR and attempted to use it without reading the manual. I tried to reason with my camera. I said to my camera, “Why can you only take
crap pictures with good light ... or good pictures with crap light?” After waiting several minutes with no
response from my camera I wrangled the only people who would listen to me, my
husband and my father. I instructed them
to “move” so I could try taking pictures of them with different settings in the
hopes of finding one that would work. Here’s how that went:
My husband's signature "move." He does this
all the time (not joking).
My dad taking my request very seriously and tossing my
son for the sake of finding a good camera setting.
I am totally aware that I’ve been limited by
not reading manuals in the past. It
basically means that I only know how to use about 2 percent of any product features, and up until now I’ve been okay with that. However, today I was hanging out with my girlfriend and she did what any
good friend does — she confronted me about my weakness. While watching me bang my camera like an
untrained chimp (you know, the kind that don’t wear overalls), she says to me,
“Sweetie, why don’t you just read the manual?” My first thought was, “How would I start my bonfire?”
This monkey has better skills than I do. (Image via the Telegraph)
I’ve now had some time to reflect. There may be some validity to reading the
manual. Acting like an untrained chimp
is only charming for so long, but eventually the novelty wears off and all
you’re left with is a hairy beat that hurls poop at you and takes horrible
pictures. I’ve taken some time to read
the manual and I’ve discovered a few things:
Put the setting on “AUTO” and you are good to
I can take similar quality photos with my
Nobody actually hauls around a bulky camera
once they have kids.
In conclusion, you can either save about
$1,000 by not investing in a DSLR camera, or you can save about two hours of time
by not reading the manual and shooting in “AUTO” mode. Consider it my gift for taking the time to
read this article.