My child has
talons that must be cut every other day. The nurturer in me thought, “I hope his brain is growing as fast as his
nails.” I’m not an expert, but
considering his favorite activity is sucking on my hair, I think it’s safe to
assume that his brain is not growing as fast as his nails.
refuses to cut our children’s nails. He
also refused to breastfeed them. Fine! I guess I’ll just do
My kids are
now 2 and 4, so according to my calculations, I’ve cut their nails about eleventy-billion times. All of this experience
has made me a master at the baby mani/pedi. I know the baby mani/pedi is stressful for a lot of
parents … especially with newborns and infants. And I’d love to share my technique with you.
A baby with long nails
Something sharp (clippers work best)
A television with local cable
1. Put the baby in front of the
2. Turn on Japanese Game Show
programming. (You’ll find it easily within your local cable channels.)
3. Focus on your baby. (If you pay any
attention to what’s happing on the television you will get sidetracked.)
4. Begin clipping the nails. (You have a 3- to 5-minute window.)
5. Congratulations! You’ve just given your baby a mani/pedi.
reference, here is the type of programming you should be looking for:
You may be thinking, “Is this girl sniffing
glue right now?” No, I’m not. But that’s a fantastic idea and I’ll have to go
do that once I’m done writing this. Trust me on this folks. It
totally works. Why does it work? Because it totally screws with your kid. Everything in their little brain just freezes
up. They don’t know if they are happy,
sad, hot or cold. They just freeze up
and stay that way for about 3-5 minutes. Plenty of time to do a baby mani/pedi!