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3 Reasons This Married Mom Sleeps Alone

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I know what you’re thinking. Is this a joke? Is this a story about some poor woman who is in a loveless marriage that has resulted in separate beds? Sorry to disappoint you, but that story isn’t mine. I am a woman who is in a very happy (OK, sometimes rocky, I’m keepin’ it real) marriage, and I love sleeping in my bed without my husband.

You may think this sounds off. I get that. I know that most couples sleep together. It’s the thing to do, right? Especially if you intend to, you know, do adult thangs. Before you judge me, don’t think that adult thangs don’t happen in my marriage. Without putting my entire business out there, do know that something has to be going down if we conceived a child. Know what I mean?

The truth is, some people just like to sleep alone. And for me, marriage didn’t change that. I’ve never been one to cuddle anyone other than a pillow. I am, however, affectionate. I love stealing kisses from my husband and holding his hand. But when it comes to bedtime? I’m OK with hittin’ the sheets solo. Here are the three main reasons:

1. My husband snores louder than a train.

Sleeping with my husband may be an option if the man didn’t snore like crazy. Did you know that 37 million people in the U.S. snore? Snoring is a problem for many couples and honestly, y’all, I’ve never been that wife who has been able to tune it out. I am convinced that my husband’s snoring could wake the dead. As someone who values her sleep, enduring that isn’t something that I’m willing to do. He’s tried mouth guards and nose plugs, but they never seem to work. Let me tell you, it’s not a good look waking up next to a man who got a glorious eight hours of sleep, while you suffered through only five. It’s not a good way to start a day. For anyone.

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2. I don’t want to cuddle.

Snuggling is sweet and all, but when it’s time to really go to sleep, I don’t want to be bothered. Does this make me sound horrible? I hope not. Is it just me or does cuddling get uncomfortable after awhile? His elbow either falls asleep while propping up my head, or his back crushes my arm. I’m probably exaggerating, but I could do just fine without having the husband's hot breath on my neck before bed.

3. Co-sleeping with a kid sucks.

I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty crunchy mama, because I am totally on the natural birth, breastfeeding and babywearing bandwagon. However, I was never OK with co-sleeping. I’m thinking the main reason for this is because I didn’t have a traditional breastfeeding relationship. In the few times that I did sleep with a newborn in my bed, I was a paranoid mess. I was afraid I’d roll over on her, that she’d fall out of the bed or that a blanket would cover her face. By the time my newborn hit three months or so, sleeping with her was unpleasant. She couldn’t seem to settle down. It wasn’t until I put her in her own crib that I realized: like her mama, this girl likes sleeping in her own space! This made me very happy. While there are moments when my now almost 2-year-old hops in the bed for a nap, I am very much OK with not regularly sharing my bed with a toddler.

So there you have it: I’m a happy wife. And a mama who likes sleeping alone.

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