time of year again, so let’s wipe the slate clean and set some personal goals
for 2015, shall we? As a first-time mom,
I’m always looking to up my game, and I know I have lots of room for
improvement. Of course, with every well-intentioned
resolution comes the realization of just how easily I’ll screw it up.
1. No more using TV as a babysitter - If I need to occupy my daughter while I do some work, I’ll
just set up a quick craft. Except that
art projects nearly always lead to glitter in the floorboards, Play-Doh in my
fingernails and “washable” (yeah right) paint all over my kid, while the TV
just has that neat little on/off switch. Hmmm.
2. I will be more patient – When my preschooler asks me the same question 17 times in
a row, I will not holler her first name in exasperation like it’s a swear
word. I will calmly say, “Asked and
answered, sweetie.” Because I’m sure
that will work flawlessly to stop the madness.
3. No more short-order cooking at dinner – My kid is notorious for requesting pasta ten
seconds after I plate her quesadilla, but with baby #2 on the way, I’ve got to
put my foot down on specialty meals. At
least until that sad little puppy face implores, “But I’m hunnnngry.”
4. I won’t check my email/texts/Facebook in front of my kid – The latest Kardashian nudity
scandal is never more important that what my 3-year-old is saying—it just seems
that way at the time. So I’m turning off
those chirpy notifications and hiding my phone. Except whenever another Cosby accuser comes forward. I’m all over that.
It’s time I either planned ahead and brought fresh fruit and crudité, or simply refused my child snacks until mealtime. Unless the drive is more than 20 minutes. Or I have a headache. Or we pass a drive-thru.
5. No more mindless snacking in the car – I’m in the horrible habit of doling out
nutrient-free snacks like pretzels and Goldfish whenever we’re driving. I do this in the name of peace and quiet. It’s time I either planned ahead and brought
fresh fruit and crudité or simply refused my child snacks until
mealtime. Unless the drive is more than
20 minutes. Or I have a headache. Or we pass a drive-thru.
get more creative with school lunches – I feel bad about my daughter’s
monotonous rotation of PB&J and turkey & cheese. Well, not that
bad, since I’m usually feeding most of her sandwiches to the trash can when she
gets home. What the hell do these kids
do at lunchtime, if not eat lunch?
7. The kid has to sleep in her own bed – It’s so much better for everyone’s night
sleep. Unless of course she’s sick. Or had a bad dream. Or I’m just too damn tired to walk back to
her room. Otherwise, definitely in her
8. No more scorekeeping with my husband – I know there is nothing positive or productive
about me whining, “But I did bath time last
night.” That is, unless I’m
successful in guilting him into doing tonight’s bath time. Then it’s kind of a
9. I’m going to organize the 10,000 photos I’ve taken of my daughter, all before
our new baby arrives – You know, print some out and put them in albums, or make those cool digital
photo books for each year of her life. OK, I can barely write this one with a straight face, I am laughing
too hard at how much I’m never going to do it.
Moms, I hope I’ve motivated and inspired you
(LOL). What are your New Year’s