Most moms will tell you that pregnancy bed rest blows. You're stuck home, alone, like a prisoner
wearing an ankle monitor, and the only person who gets to see your fabulous
pregnancy glow is the UPS guy.
But I'm here to tell you, bed rest is not all bad.
I was confined to the couch from weeks 22-36 while pregnant
with my 4-year-old. Now that I'm knocked up again, I've been expecting the
same doctor's orders, but incredibly, I'm still up and around. (My incompetent cervix gained competence. Must have been those graduate school courses
I made it take.)
While I'm grateful to have my freedom, there are a few
things I genuinely miss about bed rest, like never getting dressed. If you or someone you love has been sent to
bed, here are some things to look forward to:
1) A Vacation From Work – Why bring home
the bacon when you could be eating it? Getting sent home from your job when
you're hugely pregnant can be a real blessing. It's a guilt-free excuse to escape the grind and put your feet up, just
when you need to the most. I worked
freelance, so I was actually able to quit my job and receive disability—aka a
weekly check for just laying there. Best. Thing. Ever.
2) Who Needs
Maternity Clothes? – When you're trying to save your cash for that fancy
stroller, it can be annoying buying yourself a whole new wardrobe that you're
only going to wear for a few months. On
bed rest, you barely need any maternity clothes because no one will see how
ridiculous you look with your belly button and ass crack hanging out.
Having a baby usually signals the end of free time, so how nice to have a last chance to do whatever YOU want to do.
Naps Whenever You Like – Pregnancy symptoms? What pregnancy symptoms? When you're bed-bound, fatigue and back pain
are non-issues. Now that I know what it
feels like to chase a hyper preschooler while big as a whale, I can't tell you
how much I'd like a prescription to lay down.
4) Time to
Nest – Sure, you need tons of stuff to get ready for baby, but it's kind of
awesome that you're not allowed to go to the mall—that means no parking, no
annoying people and no schlepping. It is
truly amazing what you can accomplish online, even if you're on your back. When I was on bed rest, I was able to gear
up, design the nursery, start a baby book and even pre-order my baby
announcements. I will never be that
Grooming – Unless you're planning on doing a lot of Facetime, you can skip
makeup, blow-drying, shaving your legs and anything else that human women feel
obligated to do before they leave the house. You can even skip showering—which, since it involves standing up, will
make your doctor very happy.
6)Boot Camp for Dads-to-Be – Partners of
women on bed rest do have to pick up the slack, and that's a good thing. My not-very-domestic husband really stepped
up his caretaking game by cooking, cleaning and tending to my many needs, all
of which was excellent preparation for taking care of our newborn. (I think he would tell you the newborn was
7) Major "Me" Time – Having a baby usually signals the end of free time, so how nice
to have a last chance to do whatever YOU want to do. While on bed rest, I caught up on TV (might I
suggest binge-watching "Parenthood"?), learned to knit and reached out to old
friends by phone. Bed rest can be boring
and frustrating at times, but looking back I can see how good it was to have
some calm before the storm.