I’ve always been a closet Kardashian fan. I know they are
ridiculous and probably sold their souls to the devil, but deep down, they
actually seem like a really close-knit family, and I love that. Plus, there’s
nothing like some good quality, reality TV to get me through a workout.
My loyalties lie with Kourtney Kardashian. Ever
since I found myself unexpectedly expecting and subsequently always pregnant
after that, I’ve feel a certain kinship with the oldest sister of the brood.
And what I’ve always admired about her is how she seems to march to the beat of
her own drum, even indulging in some crazy crunchy parenting fads.
While pregnant and breastfeeding (so, always?), Kourtney
doesn’t wear deodorant, believing that the chemicals can trickle down into her
breast milk through her skin because of the close proximity and cause potential
harm to the baby. And even though her
man and her sister complain that she stinks of B.O, Kourtney could care
I’m totally at peace in the natural birthing world—I had two
natural births with midwives, I’ve worked for years as a labor and delivery
nurse, and I’m genuinely interested in the mystery of birth, so when it came
time to have my first daughter, I was intent on delivering her myself,
imagining that empowered moment when I would lift her from my own body and feel
the rush of new motherhood. Turns out, it’s a lot trickier than you would think
to pull your kid out of your vagina—but somehow Kourtney made it look
effortless, delivering both her son and her daughter Penelope.
The jury is out on this one, but like a lot of pointless
things that people get riled up about parenting, there is a lot of controversy
in co-sleeping. Some say it ruins marriages, others that it’s basically child
abuse because of the increased risk of SIDS, and still others claim that
anything less of bed sharing is horribly neglectful. Kourtney is in the
king-sized family bed camp,
admitting that she shares a bed with her kids, even though Scott isn’t such
6. Drinking breast
I have to admit that as a breastfeeding mom, I have
definitely been curious as to what that “liquid gold” actually tastes like—but
never curious enough to actually taste it myself. But Kourtney has. And her sister Khloe
did not approve.
7. Getting oil
Nothing like relaxing with a tube of oil up your butt, right
Kourt? While little
sister Kim refused to join Kourtney in this organic remedy, Kourtney
apparently swears by the treatment, which literally “flushes” toxins right out
of your body. Um, OK. And allow me to just tell you that as a nurse, I’ve given
plenty of enemas, so I assure you there’s nothing glamorous about this one.
Like, at all.
8. Making baby food
With her first son, Kourtney claimed
to make his own baby food. Again, this isn’t so crazy, but it is crazy if
she’s being honest. I mean, couldn’t she hire someone full-time to make her
kid’s all-natural, organic, locally-sourced baby food?