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Skip the Leggings: Mom Jeans Are Great Birth Control

Photograph by Getty Images

The debate over leggings and their apparent sexy factor has been all over the Internet these past few weeks. Are they responsible for stirring up lustful feelings in men? Are we as moms being somewhat disloyal to our husbands or significant others when we wear leggings in public for all other men to see? Setting aside the argument about whether or not leggings are really pants (not), this new debate focuses instead on whether or not it’s appropriate for women to wear them at all.

Personally I think this whole debate has been lost on an entire segment of the mom population by simply assuming that all moms are eager legging-wearers. Think your leggings are too sexy? Maybe you should be wearing mom jeans, like us.

RELATED: This Mom's Against Modesty

1. Instant tummy tuck

High waist equals instant tummy tuck ... as long as you can get the top button closed, that is.

One of the signature style points of mom jeans is their high waist. If you were a teen in the '90s, your favorite Guess or Bugle Boy jeans were a fashion staple and they sported an exceptionally high waist. On teens, this style created sort of an hourglass shape, but their true value isn't unleashed until you've popped out a few babies. High waist equals instant tummy tuck, sucking in everything below your rib cage—as long as you can get the top button closed, that is. Wiggle into a great pair of mom jeans and your tummy is flat for the day ... or at least until you have to use the restroom.

2. Roomy pockets

Who needs a bulky diaper bag at the park? Mom jeans have bigger pockets for a reason. Sure, they don’t do your butt any favors in the style department, but you can keep your cell phone, keys, a clean diaper, a sippy cup, a snack bag and your lip gloss in your pockets, leaving your hands free for pushing the swing. Or (honestly) holding your Starbucks.

3. Reliable birth control

The biggest secret of moms who don’t wear leggings? Mom jeans have incredible birth control powers. Seriously. You know those days, when the sink is backed up, the laundry pile finally collapsed (on the toddler), the baby projectile vomited all over the dog, the smoke alarm went off, the grocery store was out of your kids’ favorite cereal, the dog ate three disposable diapers, you forgot to brush your teeth and you forgot it was your carpool day? Who wants to get their sexy on after a day like that? And usually those are the days that your sweetie comes home feeling especially frisky.

Yep. If you had wiggled into those leggings at 6 a.m. you would still be sending sexy vibes instead of the don’t-you-dare-touch-me message you really intend. This problem would have been easily solved by pulling on those mom jeans you left rumpled in the corner a few days ago. Sure, they have a few stains and a slightly unpleasant odor. But trust me, the perks are worth it.

RELATED: 7 Reasons Why Toddlerhood Is a Great Form of Birth Control

So you can leave those leggings for the other moms. I’m pretty damn happy in my mom jeans.

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