Whether it's your mother-in-law asking (again) when you plan
to pop out another grandkid or your BFF whispering, "We're trying for a
third!" at book club, family size is a hot topic. Going from one kid to
two is a big deal, but what about from two to three? That's a leap of epic
proportions, babe. Thinking of adding that third kiddo? Think again.
It's the gig that never dies: the endless pile of dirty laundry. When you add a
baby to the mix, your previously not-that-bad-laundry-pile-for-two quickly
evolves into the nastiest mound of clothing ever. From baby body fluids to puréed
carrots and peas, baby laundry adds nothing of value to your household.
Survived it twice? Quit while you're ahead.
2. Tooth Fairy Duty
You may as well hand her $100 in cash when you bring her home from the hospital.
The first time your kid loses a tooth it's a huge deal—phone calls to Grandma,
Instagram photos and actual baby book entries. But did you know that by the
time your kid can tie his own shoes, he will have 20 baby teeth? That all have
to fall out? So while the Tooth Fairy gig is so sweet and OMG fun in the
beginning, it kinda sucks by the time your second kid starts losing teeth. Add
a third baby to the family, and you may as well hand her $100 in cash when you
bring her home from the hospital. Because the Tooth Fairy will seriously never
remember to visit that third kid.
3. Sex (or rather lack of ...)
Think you're not having enough sex with two kids in the house? Add a third and
you might have to start making out in the car, parked in the garage.
4. Gender balance
That third kid is kind of the one who sets the tone for the whole family. Got
two girls? A third girl cements the fact that you're a girl mom—pass the
glitter and grab your tiara. Two boys? That third boy raises the decibel levels
in your house by a factor of 27. Add a third kid of the opposite sex and everyone
thinks you finally got the gender you wanted and that you can stop procreating. Or
try for a fourth to even things out.
Any mom with kids over the age of 2 knows that sports are a big thing. And if
it's not a sport, it's Scouts/FFA/marching band/spelling bee/chess competition.
Kids are into a ton of activities, and it's up to you to make sure they are all where
they need to be, on time and with the proper gear, instrument or shoes. When the third
kid is little, it's easy to throw him in the car while you drive all over town
dropping off and picking up the older kids. But be ready for that first
activity the little one enrolls in, because it turns the whole routine upside
No matter how great your kids are, or how many years apart they are spaced, the
first two trips through the teen years will drain your wallet and take several
years off your life. Missed curfews, hormones, high school angst, horrible
music—who wouldn't want to go through it all a third time? Count me out.
We stopped at two kids, apparently for some really good reasons.
But now that they are growing up and leaving the nest? I'm kind of wishing we
had just one more—dirty laundry and all.