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20 True Confessions of a 'Normal' Mom

I'm so not above …

· Using my sleeve as my daughter's tissue, the hem of my shirt as a dishrag and my sock as a mop

· Smearing food on my kid's face so the dog can lick it off as a form of entertainment for all of us

· Feeding my family a "meal" made entirely of Costco samples

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· Licking my babies' faces and hands clean when I just don't feel like getting up from the table to grab a paper towel

· Spreading cream cheese on bread when I'm out of butter

· Acting like I'm putting the books my daughter randomly picks out at the library in my book bag, when really I'm stuffing them back on the shelves

· Substituting pumping for exercise

· Pushing my daughter's hands away and trying to distract her while I construct the coolest Duplo house ever

· Being kind of happy when my daughter gets messy at a party so that I can put her in another cute outfit

· Playing the "I carried and birthed your children" card

· Dressing my kids in super cute outfits and then donning sweats and no makeup—pretty much every day

· Letting my kids use dog toys as teethers

· Hiding some of my daughter's favorite books under the bookshelf because I just … can't … take it anymore

· Letting my dog clean up when the babies puke

· Catching pee, vomit or even poop with my bare hands

· Letting fruit leather, strawberry ice cream, apple crisp, and even Pop-Tarts pass as a serving of fruit

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· Letting mashed potatoes, french fries and potato chips pass as a serving of vegetables

· Using the Nose Frida without a filter and when I can't find the Nose Frida at all, just using the old-fashioned mouth-to-nostril method

· Venturing out as a family, all of us in pajamas except my husband

· Using the classic "I'll time you" trick

How about you? Anything you'd like to confess? Believe me, it feels kinda good to let it out.

Image via Twenty20/chrissyjpowers

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