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20 Things You Should NEVER Say to a Mom of a Newborn

Photograph by Twenty20

Having a newborn is one of the most rewarding yet draining experiences of your life. The lack of sleep, the adjustment period, the lack of sleep ... it’s not easy. So, we definitely don’t need people making any harder.

Here are 21 things you should never say to a mom with a newborn. Pass this around and share it with friends. All the new moms out there will thank you!

You still look a little bit pregnant.

This seems like an obvious one, but it still comes up. Never EVER talk about weight after someone has had a baby. It’s just not OK and it’s not funny.

You look tired.

Well, duh. What new mom isn't exhausted?! You certainly don’t need to call attention to it.

Is your baby sleeping through the night yet?

This is a common question among parents, but avoid it at all costs with a new mom. It’s not a measure of parenting success, so it’s time to stop asking it.

Have you lost the weight yet?

Again, avoid all weight questions. Losing baby weight is such a personal, intimate thing and it's basically none of your business.

Your baby looks jaundiced.

Don’t talk about the baby’s flaw like baby acne or jaundice. If the mom wants to talk to you about it, fine. But don’t be the negative one who brings it up. Keep your curiosity to yourself.

When are you going back to work?

This is the last thing a new mom probably wants to think about! Let her just enjoy the moment for as long as possible.

Are you having sex yet?

Whoa, this just went to a whole new level! Even if it’s a close friend, don’t go there.

Don’t forget to pump and dump.

If you’re around a mom who has decided to have a glass of wine or beer, you don’t need to give her this kind of advice. She has a doctor. She knows what she’s supposed to do.

Why aren’t you breastfeeding?

This is probably second on the list of things you shouldn’t talk about, right behind baby weight. No matter how strong your opinions are around breastfeeding, it’s not your place to pass judgment.

Your baby cries a lot. Maybe it has colic.

First of all, if someone says this, then they probably haven’t been around a baby much. And it's pretty much guaranteed to be the last time they see the baby for a while.

This one might get you kicked out faster than a newborn soils a new diaper. Keep it to yourself.

The baby doesn’t really look like you.

First off all, it’s a newborn! Second of all, no parent wants to hear this.

Bring the baby over!

For crying out loud, don’t ask for your friend who JUST HAD A BABY to come to you. You should be offering to go to them, send food, deliver coffee and all those other things a good friend should do.

Let me tell you MY birth story.

If your mom friend wants to exchange stories, that’s great. However, no one wants to hear your detailed birthing story of 10 years ago. It’s not about you. There’s a difference between offering support, like “I’ve totally been there,” and taking over the conversation. Don’t do the latter.

It just goes by so fast.

This one will often come up out of habit, but try to avoid it. The mom knows that time flies and they’re “leaving home before you know it.” Let her just live in this moment.

My baby was rolling over at three weeks!

Guess what? NO ONE CARES about your super baby right after they've given birth. Focus on the baby at hand instead.

It’s OK to the let the baby cry it out.

This age-old advice still gets tossed around today and it’s not OK to pass along to new moms. Let them work out their own plan with their doctor.

Can you believe I got back into my jeans after two weeks?!

This one might get you kicked out faster than a newborn soils a new diaper. Keep it to yourself.

I just have this little cold.

Eek! Don’t make this new mom worry and fret because of your sniffles and sneezes! Wait to see the baby until you’re 100 percent on the mend.

My baby never cried.

Yeah, and you probably also gave birth naturally without ever feeling pain, right? Cue the eye-roll here.

When are you going to have another baby?

First off, it’s none of your business. And second, just let the mom enjoy this moment. Sound good?

Now that you know what to avoid, get out there and do whatever you can to support the new mom in your life. Buy them a pedicure. Send them a gift card for dinner. Or just be a good friend in whatever capacity they need.