Before the birth of my son (now 6) the
last thing I wanted to do was sit around with other moms and talk about their
children—not because I disliked children, or moms either, but because I just couldn't relate to conversations about organic baby food or whether using
disposable diapers was morally wrong.
Motherhood is an experience-necessary
kind of gig. And it's one best shared by those who have been through the
trenches. Mom friends bring unvarnished understanding, unconditional
friendship and often crucial, boots-on-the-ground support.
See if you can relate to the many ways mom
friends support each other. And if you're just embarking on motherhood, get to a
mom's group, the gym, a library story time, a wine club—whatever it takes to
find your motherhood tribe.
1. Truth Telling
Who else will point out
that there's poop/snot/smeared food/ on your clothing without judgment or
meanness? A mom friend won't think twice and will even offer you a change of
clothes or a Spongebob sticker to cover it up.
Mom friends act as witness
to your confessions about how horrible your children are behaving and how
unhelpful your spouse is, and then remind you that you love these horrible people because
they're also wonderful most of the time.
3. Plague Reinforcements
contagion when your whole family has been vomiting for 24 hours to leave you
supplies on your doorstep, and text you funny videos to boost your mood.
4. Tantrum Aid
They know on any other day, it will just as likely be their own child.
Mom friends will not blink
when your child has a meltdown at a playdate because they know on any other
day, it will just as likely be their own child.
5. Mommy Meltdown Relief
Similarly, a mom friend
won't flinch when you lose your shit; she'll pat you on the back and offer you
wine or chocolate, saying, "What a jerk. Don't worry, he'll go to college
6. Real Talk
Who else can you have
elaborate discussions with about the battle scars of your vagina/abdomen after
pregnancy and labor? And moms are the ones who will reassure you that you are
definitely a mom, even if your children did not emerge messily from your own
7. Boredom Buddies
Mom friends not only
understand your secret loathing of the park after hundreds of hours spent there,
but will agree to get lost in an unexplored wilderness trail rife with poison
oak just to combat the boredom.
8. Self-Care Support
Fellow moms won't
give you guilt for taking care of yourself; if anything, they'll ask to join
you in that nap, home pedicure or binge "Orange is the New Black" with you.
9. Nap Team
Mom friends will let you nap
off a terrible cold on their living room couch while entertaining your child.
10. Mom Tribe
Mom friends will form a
village you didn't even know you needed until illness, surgery, work or just
the need to get away from your kids pulls heavily on you. And they'll be there
for you. Of course, don't forget to return the favor.