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To All My Single Ladies

Photograph by Getty Images/EyeEm

Dear friend,

I know we haven't talked in forever—like 8 months. I know I forgot to send a birthday card. I know you see my blog posts and wonder how I have time to blog when I keep failing to call you for a phone date. I know it seems like I don't have time for you anymore and that I don't care about our friendship.

But, it isn't true.

I need you.

You see, I need all of my mamma friends to talk to about kids and discipline and behavior and pregnancy. I need their support when days are long and painful, because they understand exactly what I am experiencing.

But, I need you too.

I know that when we (finally) do talk and you ask me, "So, how are you," I'll start blathering on about my kids' most recent achievements or my sleep (or lack of) last night. Or sometimes I'll just say, "Oh, not much."

But, I am not trying to be rude. I want to fill you in on my life and I want to hear about yours. I want to share the joys and sorrows of my day and of yours. It is just that our lives are very different and what fills my day seems so paltry in comparison to the grand things in yours.

But, I need you.

I need you because your friendship reminds me that I am an individual. I am a person outside of my vocation of motherhood. I am not just a diaper-changer, meal-maker, or mess-tidier. I am not just a sleep-deprived, coffee-obsessed milk-maker.

I have a personality. I have opinions. I have a sense of humor.

You remind me that I am ME. And that I have been created for great things, even if the day to day struggle to live this out translates into wrestling with energetic little boys or soothing the baby to sleep.

So, please don't give up on me. Don't think that I don't want to talk just because we can't seem to find a time. Don't be offended when I write a blog post instead of calling you, because it is usually written at about 3am while I am feeding the baby. (I mean, if you are up then, hey, let's chat!).

But, most importantly, please don't think that I don't care.

I do.

While there are a lot of things that are different about our lives and there are experiences that we cannot completely understand, I want to hear about your life. Your work problems. Your loneliness. Your recent promotion. Your dreams. Your uncertainty. Your love life. Heck, even the last movie you watched.

I want to share in those things with you because they pull me out of my little isolated shell and bring me back into the greater world. Your friendship draws me out of the dark side of my vocation that I sometime falter into: selfishness and narcissism. So, while we may have to struggle to remain connected through this phase of our friendship, I hope you know that I need you and I truly value your friendship. And when you start to doubt that is true, just remember that my priority list is a bit tight these days and you are probably just running a close race with a shower.

So, shall we try (again) to set up a phone date?

Much love, the measuring mama

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