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I recently had one of those days where I found myself counting down the minutes to Em's next nap time.
Who am I kidding? Every work day is one of those days.
But on this particular day, Em was being especially infuriating/distracting, leading me to tweet:
I remember when Em was first born and I was always exhausted. I would mention my exhaustion and people would say, chirpily, you gotta sleep when she sleeps! I would then laugh in their faces because, tired as I was, sleep was my lowest priority. Then I would go home and create voodoo dolls with locks of their hair and wish sleepless babies upon them.
These days, I feel as if I'm back to feeling that same way: that there are eleventy billion tasks vying for the top spot on my list of priorities, and that I somehow have to squeeze them all into the handful of hours when Em naps. This is because Em has finally figured out how to crawl and, as she crawls, she picks up various inedible objects she finds on the floor and puts them into her mouth. (Her favorite snacks are carpet fibers, cat food, and that pile of crap I make when I sweep the floor.)
So I have to watch her like a hawk whenever she's awake. Which means I'm not getting anything else done. And meanwhile, I have my insurmountable list of tasks. Work tasks. Household tasks. Items of self care. That s'mores dip recipe I've been wanting to try. Tasks that will not fit into the span of two(ish) hours.
Here's an example of the various options my mind runs through whenever I put Em down for one of her two naps of the day:
1. Ooh! Maybe I can do my daily meditation now instead of at bedtime so that I don't fall asleep halfway through!
2. Ohhh... but I really have to respond to these work emails.
3. And then I should take advantage of this distraction-free time to finish writing that chapter in The Manuscript That Will Never Reach Completion. After all, I have a Skype date with my writing partner later this week.
4. But maybe I should save that for another day. I really have to work on these articles for MY MAIN CLIENT, and then send out some emails so I can line up the next set of interviews.
5. And shit! I've only written a single mom.me post this month.
So I have to watch her like a hawk whenever she's awake. Which means I'm not getting anything else done.
6. But I've really been wanting to write something up for that themed issue of FAVORITE LIT MAG. And OTHER FAVORITE LIT MAG is accepting submissions for an anthology that sounds right up my alley.
7. And then there's that other idea that's been rolling around in my head, but where would I even place it?
8. Crap! Did I switch the laundry yet?
9. And did I forget to clean out the litter box?
10. I am feeling so unmotivated. Can't I just watch "Buffy" on Netflix Instant?
11. But if I'm gonna watch "Buffy" I should totally make that s'mores dip first so that I have something to snack on while I'm blobbing out on the couch.
12. Is that the mail?
13. This bathroom is disgusting. And so, for that matter, are the kitchen counters. When was the last time I cleaned...?