I'm pregnant with my second baby. There, I said it. As scary
as it is to write, it's even scarier when I really sit down and think about
having a second baby, while my first is still a baby himself. They will be
exactly 21 months apart, and the reactions have been both excited and slightly
alarmed. We've got a lot of "Oh, you're going to be busy!" and "Wow, they'll be
so close!" all said with a slight hint of "You're crazy!" mixed in there. And
some days, when my first wakes up at 5 in the morning or won't stop crying, I
question my sanity too. But then I take a deep breath, realize what a blessing
this baby is, and consult my mama friends of two or more. That always makes me
So this article is for all of you who may be nervous or worried
about how to manage another baby. You're not alone. We're all in this together.
And we've got this. One way or another.
"Embrace the crazy. Because it will be crazy." – Rosie P.
"Mama hearts stretch and make us have superpowers." – Nyssa I.
"I found the transition to one kid
much harder than one to two. My advice is to go with the flow, and to establish
a mama community. When my older daughter was this age, I had friends with kids
but few that were in the thick of it like me. Now I have many friend with kids
in the same age range, with the same parenting philosophy and availability and
it's so nice to have this sense of community." – Jessica M.
"It is going to be hard. Big brother is going to want to
help with things and he won't do them right and probably a little rough, but
let him help anyway and don't stress it. It's an adjustment to him as much as
it is to you. He will learn to eventually be gentler with the baby. Same goes when
baby is sleeping and your oldest is loud. Trying to keep a toddler quiet is
impossible. They both eventually will get used to the noise and sleep through
most things." – Kimberly G.
"Relax and enjoy this time. It goes by fast and I've love to
go back any day." – Jess D.
"Prep the diaper bag/car/stroller the night before a planned
outing because if you don't it will take twice as long to get out of the house.
Someone will need to go potty or need a diaper change right when you step out
the door." – Monica W.
Put your baby in the crib for a few minutes and give attention to the older child. That older child will remember that mommy ignored him… the baby won't.
"We tend to always go to the baby first, especially when
they're crying, and child #1 gets pushed to the side a lot. Put your baby in
the crib for a few minutes and give attention to the older child. That older
child will remember that mommy ignored him… the baby won't." – Michelle B.
"Let your husband help as much as possible. You guys are in
this together. Encourage each other, see each other's ways of doing things as strength.
You've got this!" –Kim G.
"Expect the unexpected. Also, everyone told me that two so
close together would be hard and a huge adjustment, but I've found it to be so
much fun! Don't let yourself get overwhelmed with the thought of two under two.
It really is more fun than crazy!" – Marci W.
"Start prepping your toddler for the baby months in advance.
Point to your belly and tell him that baby is in there. Move him to his big boy
room and refer to everything in the nursery as Baby's. Also, have him start
doing more things himself, like walking up and down stairs and into daycare.
Get him used to doing things on his own, without help. This way it won't be a
fight to get him to walk or do things on his own while you're holding or
feeding the baby." – Carrie F.
"My boys are 18 months apart and it has been one of the hardest
years of my life. But it has also been so amazing to watch the two of them fall
in love so hard with each other and be able to share jokes and experiences
because they're so close in age. My top advice is to make sure to keep doing
some one-on-one time with each child. Even just 15 minutes per day with each
makes such a difference!" – Karina K.
"It doesn't get easier, it just gets more fun! Keep your
kids on a good schedule and stay consistent with your parenting rules,
boundaries, rewards, etc." – Tara D.
"Make sure you still put your older child to bed sometimes
and get her ready, etc. You don't want her thinking that Mom is 100% about the
baby now." – Carrie F.
"Try to involve the oldest child in helping with the baby.
They'll love to feel included and that they're helping!" – Michelle B.
"Let the baby cry. Its needs are simple at first (hungry,
wet or tired) but your first baby may need you for something more. Tend to his
needs first, since he will be learning new emotions and how to express them.
Have so much fun, the time flies by!" – Monica W.