When it comes to conception, pregnancy and birth, I know that I have definitely been one of the lucky ones. I've always gotten pregnant with ease. With my daughter it took six months after getting off of hormonal birth control and even then we weren't actually trying all that hard, mostly just not not trying. No ovulation tests or special positions or any of that jazz. With my son, pregnancy was the result of one carefree night. We had started talking about having another, but there was never a "Hey, we're really doing this" kind of conversation, and then suddenly there was a bun in my oven. Apparently I'm pretty fertile.
I also have fairly easy pregnancies. With my first I was nauseous until about 8 weeks, but never even threw up. A few of the more typical symptoms like being extra tired and having sore breasts, but otherwise there was nothing worth noting. With my second I literally had NO symptoms. Like none at all. I was absolutely sure there was something wrong, but nope. My son was the picture of health.
Birth was the one area that was a bit of a wild card, but even then I got off with pretty great experiences. Both of my children were born via drug-free water births without any major complications. My daughter was a brow presentation birth, which is a particularly challenging position, but I was still able to deliver her safely. She weighed in at 8 pounds, 7 ounces and her birth was 12 hours from start to finish. My son's birth was actually longer (19 hours) and more challenging and reasonably so, since he weighed in at 10 pounds 8 ounces (23 inches!) and was posterior.
It seems too good to be true to have gone through two fairly seamless cycles of conceptions, pregnancies and births. It feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Overall though, things went swimmingly all around. I really couldn't have asked for a better situation. I don't mean to come across with an attitude like I'm so awesome at pregnancy, because really I think I just got lucky. But the thing about being lucky is that, well, luck always seems to run out.
As my husband and I have started down the road toward trying for a potential Baby #3, I find myself feeling anxious. It seems too good to be true to have gone through two fairly seamless cycles of conceptions, pregnancies and births. It feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
After my first month of being IUD-free and seeing my period come and go without a pregnancy, I can't help but wonder if maybe this time it won't come so easy. Maybe I'm going to find myself struggling with secondary infertility. Maybe this time I'm going to experience the loss of a child through miscarriage. Maybe my next baby is going to be a complete behemoth and I'll have to have a C-section.
I realize that I'm likely making much ado about nothing and that things will likely go just fine, but it's hard to not let myself get bogged down by the "what ifs". Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning in the anxiety of it—living life in the future and worrying about things that have yet to happen. I'm trying to keep it in check and maintain perspective through this process of trying to get pregnant, but I still definitely have moments where it gets the best of me. Perhaps it's those Type-A tendencies shining through, because really, it's only been a month. We may be in it for the long haul, so I'm working on learning to relax.
Have any of you experienced this? How did you deal with the anxiety and worry of trying to get pregnant?