Each time a friend announces the arrival of their first baby, I excitedly coo, smile and send my congrats. It's such an awesomely
special and cozy time, I know. I also can't help but smirk. They'll "get it"
They'll get why I can't make happy hour (or brunch, or
dinner, or … well, can you squeeze us in at 7-9 a.m.? Or maybe 3-5 p.m.?). They'll no
longer judge the rotting, stinking mess that has accumulated in the backseat of
my car. Or my extra 10 (er, 20) pounds and general frazzled state.
Before baby arrived they may have lived in the same
terrifically out-of-touch vision of parenthood that I did. You know, the one
where you can avoid the pitfalls you see other, lazier, less smart parents
falling prey to.
The one where a fish stick never touches your toddler's lips, where
you do not punch the side of the car, denting it, when the newly mobile baby
refuses the car seat for the thousandths time that week by arching his back and
twisting away while screaming in protest. (Did I mention it's a new car?)
The one where you continue to go to
the movies regularly as a couple. Isn't that what babysitters are for?
Ah, the lies we tell ourselves. Well, get ready mama. You think
you won't, but you very likely will succumb to all those messy, unattractive
parenting habits that you were so sure you could avoid. A few of my own
expectations shared below dissolved in short order by two fabulously opinionated and viciously
active kids who arrived in two years.