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12 Requirements to Be in My Mom Squad

Photograph by Rex / Rex USA

On her latest tour, Taylor Swift helpfully provided her fans with a two-point list of "requirements" she has for her friends. I too happen to have a list of requirements for you if you want to be my mom friend (non-mom friends have a much shorter list.)

1. Be on board with the fact that some days you need television as a co-parent. If you are not on board with this, never reveal this fact.

2. Also be okay with peanut butter and jelly and applesauce in packages (or whatever easy food means to you). Occasional inappropriately huge amounts of desserts too because, let's admit it, it's fun when they're happy even if they're going to act insane afterwards.

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3. Understand the need for wine, "wine" standing in for any number of things that helps us unwind at the end of the day.

4. Have a life outside of your child. Have friends who don't have kids. Let us talk about things we've read or seen or eaten or tried.

5. Choose to be with a partner who respects you as a person, who appreciates what you do in his or her own way. And then complain about that person once in awhile.

6. Be a good person but not a goody-goody.

7. Be real about what really makes kids happy vs. what is putting on a show for other parents.

8. Be kind-ish to my child, or at least understanding, but don't take it personally if he doesn't remember your name or won't look you in the eye when he says hi. I will do the same for you.

9. Admit to snapping or not doing your best every now and then.

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10. Let me tell you gross things sometimes.

11. Don't judge when I dress like crap. Don't judge when I decide I want to look nice sometimes too.

12. Talk smack about your kids sometimes. That makes the funny/cute stories much more enjoyable.

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