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All the Things You Can Do While Nursing

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A woman was recently pulled over in Everett, Washington, when someone else observed her driving with a toddler in her lap and called 911. When police pulled her over, it was discovered that she had been nursing her 2-year-old child.

While cruising down the highway. As you do.

This strikes me as dangerous. Improper child restraints aside, I can barely change CDs in my car stereo without swerving all over the road. So while I'm a huge proponent of multitasking, I myself have found that there are far better, less risky activities to engage in while breastfeeding.

Binge-watch your favorite TV show. One of the things that can be difficult once you have a child is finding the time for activities of self-care. Sometimes, self-care is nothing more than allowing yourself to decompress in front of the TV. I myself binge-watched a lot of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" when I was nursing.

RELATED: 10 Binge-Worthy Shows for Nursing Moms

Binge-read all of the books you won't be able to read once your kid is mobile. Again, think self-care. Someday, you'll be forced to sneak your pleasure reading into the cracks of your day. But for now, you'll find it's amazing how much reading you can get done while your baby is attached to your boob—especially when she's cluster feeding.

Take care of the housekeeping. I imagine that if you're coordinated enough to nurse while driving, you're also coordinated enough to stick your child in a sling, attach them to your nipple and then sweep the kitchen floor or clean some dishes. Heavy hands-and-knees bathroom-cleaning may be a bit much but, at the very least, you can get surface cleaning out of the way—the type of stuff that, if you do it regularly, keeps things from descending into a disgusting, chaotic, moldy mess.

Play Yahtzee. Or Boggle. Or Scattergories. Or Cards Against Humanity. This counts as quality bonding time with your spouse.

Do all those things that can easily be done while parked in front of your computer, your child reclining in your lap.

Meditate. Because if their mouth is on your boob, they're not crying. Aaaaaaahh ... peace and quiet. The perfect time to ascend to a higher plane.

Get work done. Respond to emails. Do online research. Blog. Manage that social media account. Do all those things that can easily be done while parked in front of your computer, your child reclining in your lap.

Conduct phone interviews and manage conference calls. The other person will never know. Which may afford you some illicit thrill. Anyway. I have a headset I plug directly into my phone so I have my hands free to type up notes.

Eat your meals. This may require some coordination on your part as most kitchen chairs don't have those handy-dandy arms to keep your child from rolling off your lap but, once you've mastered this, it totally counts as eating together as a family. Look at you achieving all of your lofty ideals as a parent!

RELATED: 10 Things No One Told Me About Breastfeeding

Answer the door. Maybe you're wearing a nursing cover. Maybe you're not. Either way, the UPS guy or the man who has come to read your meter will be terrified and fascinated and maybe even slightly aroused. Gosh, it feels so good to add a spot of excitement to someone else's tedious work day.

Host a party. Actually, you're going to thank me for this later. I gave birth to my daughter five months before Thanksgiving. Somehow my husband and I ended up hosting the extended family for this holiday. I was nervous about pulling this off but, in the end, it worked in my favor. Everyone was so mindful of the fact that I has an infant to care for that they did all of the work for me, setting tables, bringing food, reheating stuff in my oven. And I didn't even have to leave the house!

And the list goes on! There are so many things you can do while nursing that don't involve piloting a small metal box at high speeds down a busy highway while other small metal boxes slalom around you. And if you do them, it will free you up to focus fully on your driving.

You're welcome.

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