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Baby Name Ideas That Are Better Than Instagram Filters

Photograph by Twenty20

According to a recent report on BabyCenter on the top baby names of 2015, people are naming their babies after Instagram filters. And while this might make sense with names such as Sierra and Willow, as Mic reports, a world full of tiny Cremas would be just weird.

I myself long for the days when people took their inspiration from great works of literature, popular thespians, or former family members. But if people are looking for unique names for their children influenced by the trends of the moment, I have a few ideas that might yield more fruit than the photo app on your phone.

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1. Nail Polish Colors. Early on in my freelance writing career, I landed a project where I wrote market copy listings for a particular brand of nail polish. I remember thinking at the time that whoever had the job of naming those nail polish colors had the coolest job ever. Well. Since nail art is so now, why not borrow some of those color names for the little one growing in your belly? Amazing Grace. Allure. Desert Moon. The only other place you'll find these names is on that hippie commune out in the woods.

2. Paint Colors. Another thing I like to do for fun (my life is like a carnival, you guys) is marvel over the names of various paint colors. A sample selection from the back of my most recent issue of HGTV Magazine includes Blue Hydrangea, Fertile Green, and Pimento. I suspect there can only be one Pimento at the playground.

Of course, if you really want to be a trendsetter, you can't beat referencing the trending hashtags module on Twitter.

3. Trending Hashtags. Of course, if you really want to be a trendsetter, you can't beat referencing the trending hashtags module on Twitter. A couple trending hashtags on my Twitter home page at this very moment are Batman vs Superman and #4Yearsof5SOS.

Actually, I take it back. This is a terrible idea.

4. Microbrews. Moving on from what was obviously a misguided suggestion on my part (I suppose there is such a thing as being too trendy), there are always microbrew names. Everyone and their mother (and my husband) is now a home brewer, making it one of the hottest hobbies of the past few years. Glancing at Beer Advocate's list of the Top 250 Beers, I see definite potential in Julius, Abner, Sip of Sunshine, Zombie Dust, and Parabola. Actually, #25 is named, simply, Ann. "Ann. How pretty! Is that a family name?" "Oh no. We named our darling Ann after Hill Farmstead Brewery's Saison / Farmhouse Ale, a barrel-aged honey ale we happen to enjoy on warm, moonlit nights."

RELATED: Millennial Parents Are Starting a New Baby-Naming Trend

5. Fair Trade Coffees. The Awl recently published The True Story of Good Coffee, because it seems that no one wants Folgers in their cup anymore. Following this trend, I took a look at some of Intelligentsia's Single Origin Coffees, such as Kiwi Coconut Peach Blossom and Pineapple Jasmine Lychee. The names are a mouthful but, then again, so are the coffees. A glorious, delicious mouthful. Why wouldn't you want to name your child after something you enjoy so much?

Actually, now that I think about it, these Instagram-inspired parents might be on to something. The name Clarendon is really growing on me.

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