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Dear Hilary Duff, You Are Going To Get Through This

Photograph by Instagram

Dear Hilary Duff,

As I was scrolling through Instagram this morning, before yelling at my three teens to get up and get at it so we could get to school on time, your post stopped me in my mismatched slippers and sloppy ponytail.

Your baby is colicky. You can't put her down, you are crying right along with her, you feel like you are losing your mind and nothing you do is making her more comfortable.

You might even be wanting to fast-forward time so you can watch her self-soothe, and enjoy her in a way you aren't able to now.

You are struggling and feel like you can't leave her, because it's all up to you, since you are nursing her every hour (morning and night, I'm sure).

I know this because I've been there and your post took me right back to the November my youngest of three was born.

You see, I thought because I'd had two older kids who didn't have colic, who didn't cry every single time I put them down, who let me sleep for a few hours at a time, I'd had this parenting thing down.

Then he blasted into my world and would not relax unless he was being held a certain way or he was nursing.

I didn't know anyone could feel so helpless.

Before him, I never understood when other parents talked about colic, and by that I mean I had no idea how it could tear your body, soul, heart and mind apart the way it does.

I didn't know anyone could feel so helpless.

I didn't know what it felt like to just let them cry so I could use the bathroom as I held my head in my heads and cried myself.

I didn't know the fear of leaving them with someone else to take a much-needed break because I knew they'd cry the whole time. What was the point, really? I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself knowing they were unhappy, or the person watching them couldn't nurse them, or hold and swaddle them just right, so they could calm down.

It was my all-time low as a parent when my son had colic, but yes, it did end. I figured out he was allergic to milk products and I began to eat things like soy cheese and almond milk. It made him much happier but damn, I missed sour cream and gelato.

I don't know if you've tried that—maybe you have, along with 66 other things—but I'm telling you this because yes, there is an end in sight, I promise. The long, tiring hours of caring for a colicky baby ends and you will make it to that point. You will.

Then you will realize when she's a teenager that tests your patience by staying out past her curfew, and gives you sass on the regular, If I made it thought the colicky stage, I can make it through this.

Sincerely,

A mom who's been there too

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