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My baby came barreling into this world one week ago today. One week ago, I became a mother for the second time over. My beautiful baby girl rocked our entire world, and each time I look into her sweet little face, I see so much.
I see my firstborn, her big brother. I see my husband. I see myself. But more than that, I see sweetness and beauty and resilience. I see heaven in her big beautiful eyes. I see strength and I see a little girl who will grow into a woman some day much too soon.
This week has been exhausting. If you've ever brought home a newborn, you know. I'm living in a fog. The days have blurred into one another, and I have become a milk machine and that's about it. Add a rambunctious toddler on top of that, and life is pretty hectic at the moment.
It's only been one week and I'm already drowning.
I'm feeling more tired than I ever have before and I'm feeling the pull between my two babies. I'm torn between giving my newborn my everything and letting her brother know he's still my everything, too. My love has multiplied, but my arms haven't. And that's hard, but I know it's something I'll figure out, in time. The pieces will eventually fall into place and we'll get our rhythm down.
My love has multiplied, but my arms haven't.
As with everything in life, it's just going to take some time.
So for now, I'll continue to drown. I'll continue to give my all to both of my babies, as much as I possibly can. I'll continue to love them with everything I have and pray that they feel it's enough.
And yes, this is hard. Nobody ever said parenting would be easy. And parenting two babies is a whole new ballgame. But there's a reason not all people stop at one baby. There's a reason we decided to have another one.
The sleepless nights that turn into exhausting days are worth it. The guilt and fear of not being enough will subside. I will soon be more than just a milk machine, as beautiful as that may be.
And we will be left with these two precious beings to call our own. We will be standing here in awe of our two angel babies that we created. I'm already so in love, and I can't imagine once this fog is lifted, just how much deeper I will fall.