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10 Reasons My Threenager Can't Wear That Outfit

Three-year-olds have earned the term threenager fair and square... especially when it comes to the fashion department. Three-year-old opinions just might be even more particular than actual teenagers when it comes to getting dressed. I know my own daughter's definitely are.

Sometimes the reasons she gives for not wanting to wear a particular item are just so ridiculous I have to write them down. While reading back through my list one evening recently, I decided it would be fun to share some of my favorites. Again, I must reiterate that these are real actual reasons my threenager has given for not wanting to wear the outfits I've chosen for her.

1. ME: Handing her a striped dress

THREENAGER: "It's too stripey!"

2. ME: Handing her (God forbid) jeans

THREENAGER: "I CAN'T wear jeans! They make me feel...UGH!"

ME: "I don't know what that means."

THREENAGER: "It means I can't wear them because they're too scruffily"

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3. ME: Handing her a grey dress

THREENAGER: "I don't wear grey. It's not my fashion color."

4. ME: Handing her pants

THREENAGER: "I can't wear pants. Pants will make me look like a boy!"

ME: (Eye roll as I—not a boy—look down at the pants I wear...EVERY day.)

5. ME: Handing her a dress she has seemed to favor in the past

THREENAGER: "I don't like this dress. It doesn't twirl. It's a tunic dress. I only wear twirly dresses."

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6. ME: Handing her a "twirly dress"

THREENAGER: "It twirls, but only a little. I need it to twirl A LOT."

7. ME: Handing her jogger pants with zippered pockets

THREENAGER: "Nope. Those are too zippery."

8. ME: Handing her a red dress

THREENAGER: "Red isn't my color. It used to be, but then I wanted to save some favorite colors for the other kids."

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9. ME: Handing her a sweater

THREENAGER: "I can't wear that sweater! It's too craggy!"

ME: "What does that even mean? Craggy isn't even a real word!"

THREENAGER: "Yes it is Mama. It means I can't wear it."

10. ME: Handing her a ridiculously twirly, pink dress—the kind three-year-old dreams are made of.

THREENAGER: "I can't wear that."

ME: "Why can't you wear this? You love this dress! It twirls, it's your fashion color, there are no zippers or pants. Why can you not wear this dress?"

THREENAGER: "I just can't."

ME: (dumbfounded) "Is this real life?!"

THREENAGER: "Yes, Mama."

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Photograph by: Lauren Hartmann

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