Can you even remember what life was like before Facebook? Well, the funny people from @Midnight on Comedy Central challenged the Twitterverse to reminisce about a simpler, meme-less, Farmville-less existence, when it was much harder to get the lowdown on your old high school flame or see what that one mom who works the pre-school pick up eats for breakfast with #BeforeFacebookI.
What would moms be nostalgic about when remembering those pre-social media days? It was a time bereft of updating, uploading and posting. The tweets might look something like these.
You Can't Handle the Truth
Maybe you did check your email ... for three minutes. And the other 15 minutes may have been spent taking a quiz to find out which "Grease" character you are and looking at a mom friend's pics from their recent family vacay to Bora Bora. OMG. Amaze. Telling your kids you're working is protecting them from the cold hard truth of your Facebook addiction. Why must you force me to lie, Facebook?
When else are you going to have the time to read all those posts and articles about breastfeeding?
Crowdsource That Shit!
But, 1,008 opinions on whether or not it's a weird color or if it looks normal is better than 1.
I Thought You All Should Know ...
Remember the days when news about bodily functions and fluids was a private thing? Now you get a play-by-play from dilation to crowning. And if you're real lucky, you'll even know the stitch count.
Viral Videos FTW
Nor did you do the "Whip/Nae Nae" or share a video of a dinosaur shoveling snow.
Now, when you get poked, you may not even realize it until nine months later, and it will be by someone you don't know very well, and then there's this weird poke back expectation, and what is this feature anyway???
She Seemed So Cool at First
Before Facebook, you wouldn't have seen her judgy posts about other people's parenting, political and religious choices. Thanks to Facebook, you now know she sucks.
But now you like them riding a Roomba, wearing a Wookie costume, playing the keyboards, snuggling with a dog best friend and even batting at a hot dog in the toilet.
Facebook for Food
And now you have 127. And you also know how to make chocolate cake in a mug.
Can you believe that there was a time when people had to go without a week of seeing continuous and relentess #firstdayofschool photos. How did we ever do it?
You can like, share, comment, get recipes, read articles, watch funny videos, poke strangers and read all the someecards your heart desires without schlepping the rugrats to places they don't want to go and without wearing a bra. Those leaving-the-house days were perfect for that pre-social media time. But it's in the past. Now go take a quiz and find out whether you are more Spice Girl or Destiny's Child.