The other night, I went out to a local bar with an old friend of mine, ordered a stuffed avocado salad, and got thoroughly buzzed from just two beers. Afterward, after stumbling into my home office and discovering I couldn't write a coherent email, I did some shopping on Amazon instead.
The next morning, I said to my husband: "I went drunk shopping on Amazon last night!"
"You went drunk shopping on Amazon last night?" he responded, wary. Because once upon a time, I had a major shopping problem and ended up in a highly sensationalized CNN segment after writing a personal essay about getting out of debt.
"Yes!" I said, practically squealing with excitement about my purchases. "I bought a bunch of new cups for Emily so she can learn to drink without the nipple! Also, I bought a couple books so I could get the free shipping on the one add-on item!"
Yes. This is what counts as a boozy night out and a wild shopping spree now that I'm a mom. What else has changed?
Pre-Baby: Immediately before getting pregnant, my biggest indulgence was yoga leggings, each pair usually running me between $60 and $80 each. I justified this by dividing the cost of the pants by the number of times each pair would be worn. After all, I took four to six classes a week. I also taught four to six classes a week. Plus I'd worked my ass off and my butt looked good in them.
Post-Baby: I try to get to the studio one to three times a week, but it's harder than it once was. Now I'm lucky if I can bust out a wheel pose between running upstairs to change Em's diaper and running downstairs to switch the laundry.
Post-Baby: Intro to this post aside, I don't often find myself at my local bar, drinking with my girlfriends. I do, however, belong to a book club that meets once a month. And there is always booze there.
Pre-Baby: There was once a time when I was able to read in the morning before rolling out of bed. And then I would read later on, curled up in an easy chair, as I took a midday break. And then I would read again when the work day was done. And finally I would end my day by reading.
Pre-Baby: I work from home full-time. So it was always easy for me to find the time to bake cupcakes or bake a lemon pound cake or bake an orange bundt cake or bake an applesauce bundt cake with a salted caramel glaze or bake bread or...
Pre-Baby: It was no big thang to just pop out to my favorite coffee shop in the middle of the day and shoot the shit with a fellow writer for a couple hours while consuming massive cups of coffee with whipped cream on top.
Post-Baby: I now sprint from my office and tackle my husband if I suspect he's going for the last cup of coffee in the pot. And if he suggests we brew another pot, I respond with such enthusiasm you'd think he'd just offered to take me on a tropical cruise.