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Our Marriage Was Fun Until We Had Kids


I'm not going to pretend that being married has ever been easy—because it hasn't been.

Falling in love was the easy part and everything after it, well, it's been a whirlwind. No matter what, though, I wouldn't change a thing. I love my husband. He's my best friend (but certainly not my only friend), and I think we do this married-with-kids thing pretty well.

Sure, we're incredibly far from perfect. We've been married for four years, and I've discovered new things about him daily. Lately, some of those things have made me want to punch him. Our marriage, my husband, was soooo much easier and more fun before we had kids.

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For one thing, I really miss him, my husband. He could be in the same room as me and I miss him. We're meal prepping, shoulder to shoulder, but I'd rather be on a dinner cruise with him. Or lounging on the couch watching movies. I'd rather be laughing at his dumb jokes in the dark or sitting in the car debating the meaning of random songs. And then making out in the car.

We know that these kids run our life. It's a fact.

These are the things that parenthood has robbed us of. We adore our children, but, man. We haven't dated each other in forever.

Our version of quality time is doing chores together. Sexy, right? Sure, we could hire a babysitter to watch the kids, but this can only happen every now and then due to work schedules (and how freaking expensive it is to pay someone to watch your kids!) Also, the very sad reality is that most of the time we're just way too tired to even think about going anywhere. And making the arrangements. And getting ready. And ...

The few times a relative has visited and told us to kick rocks so that they can watch our babes, do you know where we end up going? To bed. Or the grocery store. Can you believe this? It's funny when you think about it.

I want to stay in love. I know how cheesy this sounds. I make no apologies for it, because I married for love.

But it's also little sad.

I know we aren't the only parents suffering from exhaustion. I get it. Parenting is hard work. Being married is hard work. I feel as if I have to balance both perfectly. If I don't, someone misses out.

The good thing is that my husband and I have a really nice understanding about the expectations that we have for our marriage. We know that these kids run our life. It's a fact. We have accepted it and embraced it.

I'd be lying if I said I can't wait to have my husband to myself again. Our children are very little, so it will be awhile before we have an empty nest. (But, wow, what a nest it will be!) My hope is that we can hang in there together, raise these kids to the best of our abilities and still make time for each other.

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I know that we are both going through changes and will continue to do so, but I want to always be on the same team as him. I want to stay in love. I know how cheesy this sounds. I make no apologies for it, because I married for love. I married my best friend and I refuse to let these kids get in the way of our friendship. I will fight hard to keep our relationship and marriage as great as it can be.

Which, as we all know ain't easy.

Still, sometimes when the house is quiet and the kids have gone to sleep, I reminisce about the days before our children. And mannnnn, those days were wonderful.

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Photograph by: Brittany Minor

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