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Learning to Lower My Expectations

I had this vision in my head of their meeting. I should have known by now that with kids, it's always best to set your expectations low. Like, really low. Because that meeting? You know, the older brother being in awe of his "baby" and kissing her head and holding her gently in his lap? None of that happened. None of it. Instead, he gave her one glance and, after coming in close to try to poke her eyeballs (don't worry, we didn't let him), he gave up and walked away, completely ignoring her for the rest of the day.

And that is how it's been since. And we're two weeks in.

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And I have all of these visions, still. I told you, I really never learn. But I want a cute sibling photo, of my oldest holding my youngest. I want a sweet picture of the two of them bonding and maybe taking a nap together on our king size bed.

I mean, how adorable would that be?

And instead I get a few blurry shots of him trying to smack her on the head. Or a quick picture of the .02 seconds he will stay still next to her, again blurry. Too blurry to even tell who it is in the picture.

Yeah. Not happening.

Did I take away from his babyhood? Should we have waited? Is he too young to be a big brother? Are we absolutely insane?

So I'm not sure when this will change. I've had my share of meltdowns. Did we have another baby too soon? I mean, my oldest is still a baby himself! Did I take away from his babyhood? Should we have waited? Is he too young to be a big brother? Are we absolutely insane?

"Yes" is the answer to that last question, by the way.

But I'm beginning to see that "no" is the answer to the rest. Because really, there is no good time to have a baby. Your oldest will struggle with something, whether it's being gentle or being jealous, something will make the transition difficult. And the timing will never be "perfect."

Nothing ever is.

Because yes, they are close in age. And yes, my oldest is still a baby and now we have a newborn as well. And our life is crazy and will continue to be for quite some time now.

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But I think the key is to accept that and take it for what it is.

And also to set our expectations extremely low. Because then we are bound to be pleasantly surprised!

Right? Right.

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Photograph by: Katie Michelle Reyes

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