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News Flash: You're Not the Only One Who Pees Your Pants

Photograph by Getty Images

The tendency to pee a little when we laugh, cough, sneeze, etc. is known as stress incontinence. It's especially common in women who are pregnant or postpartum, as the pelvic floor muscles are stretched out and weakened. Basically, it's a total bummer.

What's not a bummer is that it yields us some hilarious stories about moms accidentally wetting themselves, and that's exactly what I'm presenting to you. I've promised to keep them anonymous, but these are real stories. Almost too real.

(And please, don't laugh so hard you, well, you know...)

Never Hold Back: The Gas that Should Have Passed

"My second child was four or five weeks old. I wanted to get out of the house so my husband sent me on a late night run to Lowe's to get something he had been meaning to buy. I purchased the item and as I'm heading to my car, a long lost acquaintance stops me to say hi and congratulations. As he's talking I felt the urge to pass gas. Nothing major, but still rude, so I squeezed with all my might. As I stood there, I felt warm stuff running down my leg. I realized I was urinating and I COULD NOT shut it off. So my pants are sopping wet and I have pee in my shoes. Thankfully, it was 10:30 pm so it was dark outside and my friend couldn't see anything. To escape I reached for my chest and said, 'Oh, I think it must be feeding time.' His wife had recently delivered their first child so he responded with, 'I know how that goes.' I should have just tooted."

RELATED: Why Kegels Haven't Stopped You From Peeing Yourself

A Different Kind of Baby Shower

"My sister was 7 months pregnant and it was the day of her office baby shower. She was sitting at her desk when they came up to get her and she kept trying to stall, telling her coworkers she'd meet them at the party. They kept pressing her and finally she had to admit she'd just sneezed so hard she peed all over her chair, so they wheeled her to the bathroom. It's embarrassing but also sweet."

Almost a Haiku About Pee

"Trampolines now require protective gear—and I'm not talkin' about helmets."

A Strong Case for Moisture-Wicking Shorts

"I love to run, which means I have made peace with peeing my pants. I'm fine for long, slow distance runs, but if it's a speed workout or there's any sprinting involved, my shorts will be soaked, and at best only half of that is sweat!"

I must have been sitting for about 40 minutes when suddenly my nether regions went completely numb and I wet myself.

No Time Like the Present

"While pregnant with twins, my husband and I were driving to see my parents. They live about an hour away. I asked him to pull over so I could pee. He suggested I wait till he could find a bathroom. I couldn't hold it and peed my pants all over his seat. Next time just pull over."

Let's Just Avoid Trampolines, Shall We?

My best friend and I went to a trampoline exercise class. I was so worried that I would pee my pants while jumping. Turns out I peed my pants (just a little) every single time I jumped for an hour. Thanks, kids!"

RELATED: 11 Things Your Boobs Look Like Post-Baby

Let Go, and Just Go

"During childbirth I peed myself nonstop, basically every time I pushed. Since I had a home birth, I was left with this awful mess to clean up afterwards, and even though I fully acknowledged I should let go and just go with each contraction, I was still hideously embarrassed every time I peed when pushing."

A Little Coffee, a Little Writing, a Little Hobbling to the Bathroom

"Just the other day, I went to a coffee shop to go and write. I must have been sitting for about 40 minutes when suddenly my nether regions went completely numb and I wet myself. It was completely out of control, and as I sat there, literally soaking my shorts and the wicker restaurant chair, I could only laugh and then hobble off to the bathroom. Since then I have noticed that when I sit for too long j stand a good chance of wetting myself during that time."

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