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Similar to the precious footy
pajamas, I thought all the little hoods on my son's outfits were disturbingly
cute. Is that an infant or a ridiculously cute baby bear? While I realized I would
look deranged donning a hat with baby raccoon ears, a girl can still
2. Cradle swing
More tired than I'd thought possible, I
used to gaze at my son dozing in his cradle swing. Equipped to swing either
forward to backward, or in a soothing side-to-side motion, this swing was soft
as a pillow and crafted to look like an impossibly cute baby lamb. I longed to
put on an adult-sized pair of footy pajamas and perhaps a pair of adult diapers
and drift off to sleep in the lamb's warm embrace.
I loved taking walks with my toddler son in
his stroller. The only thing better than moseying around with him? To have
someone push me around cheerful neighborhoods while I sipped on the finest of
white grape juice and shoved handfuls of Goldfish into my mouth. It was a sad
epiphany when I realized that yes, somebody might push me around again someday,
but it'd be in a wheelchair. Hopefully, wheelchairs will have built-in snack
and drink holders by then.
4. Baby carriers
In his early months, my son spent much of
his days strapped to my chest in an Ergo carrier. With the lull of my heartbeat
and the gentle rocking as I ran up and
down the stairs to do laundry, he often drifted off to sleep. It struck me how
cozy he must be and how tired I was and how soothing it would feel if I could
find a giant who would strap me to his chest and carry me around while I
In our quest to help our colicky son
sleep, one of the things we purchased was a baby sleep hammock. The tiny
hammock bed moved gently with my son's motions, which theoretically would help
him sleep better. While it didn't fix his sleep issues, I fantasized about
having an adult-sized version that I could slumber in. Alone. On a tropical
Looking back, I think that all the adulting suddenly
required of me as a new parent made me long for a simpler time—or at least a
time when I could nap with wild abandon or sleep through the night without
anyone screeching in my ear for milk.