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10 Totally Crazy Things Moms Do

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Photograph by Twenty20

Once you become a parent, your inhibition on certain things—namely bodily functions and modesty—go out the window. Sometimes being a mom is really just all about not giving a you-know-what, and doing what needs to be done to make life a little easier. Here are some things that all moms have totally done. And yes, we know we’re crazy. It happens.

Smell our baby’s butts on the regular. I mean, hey, sometimes if it ain’t poop, it can wait, right? Come on, you know you’ve been there.

Drive in the car for an hour to get our baby to sleep. Because sleep is precious, and the motto in parenthood is “whatever it takes.” Even if that means burning up all of our hard-earned money on gas.

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Stay in the car until our little one wakes up from their nap. Ahh, the car nap. What we all try to avoid but inevitably happens anyway. If your little one doesn’t do well with the car-seat-to-crib-transfer, get comfortable, you could be waiting a while. That’s what Instagram is for, right?

Pick noses that aren’t our own. Hey, gotta get those boogers out somehow. And the easiest way is to just get in there and get the job done. It’s also oddly satisfying when you succeed. I told you, we’re crazy.

Oh, little Johnny doesn’t want to eat the crust on his sandwich and will only eat it if it’s in the shape of an elephant and dipped in yogurt? DONE.

Check for breathing. Especially in the first few months, we can be kind of obsessed with checking on our baby every few minutes, because, yes, we are 100% convinced they aren’t breathing when they sleep for longer than a few minutes at a time. This may be the reason why new moms really don’t get any sleep. It’s our own damn fault.

Pack a diaper bag that is in direct competition with Mary Poppins. Medicine? We have that. Nail clippers? Of course! Diapers and wipes? Duh. A coat rack? Sure, that’s probably in here somewhere…

Literally anything to get our kids to eat. Oh, little Johnny doesn’t want to eat the crust on his sandwich and will only eat it if it’s in the shape of an elephant and dipped in yogurt? DONE. Whatever works is the name of the game, but also just seeing him eat is exciting enough!

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Act like a toddler. It can get real crazy, when we’re on all fours on the floor making silly noises at our little one, but hey! If it makes him smile and he’s having fun, that’s what matters! Also, we won’t admit it all the time, but we’re totally having fun, too.

Obsess over poop. It used to gross us out. Now it still grosses us out, but it gets us weirdly excited. If you’ve ever dealt with baby constipation, you know how that goes. Oh, how times have changed.

Take pictures of poop. Because something may not look right to you, so you snap a few photos to show your kid’s pediatrician. Just be sure to delete it before showing Aunt Sandy your pictures of her adorable little niece.

Nobody said this job would be glamorous, but it's definitely an adventure!

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