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The Best Responses to People Who Say, 'Wow, Your Hands Are Full!'

Photograph by Twenty20

I'm the oldest of five children, so having two children (and eventually three) didn't seem like this enormous family to me. Yet, the moment my second daughter was born, I started getting that classic line, "You've got your hands full," wherever we went.

I may have missed the day at school where everyone was trained to say it as soon as you appear in public with more than one child, but apparently everyone else was present for that lecture, because I get it on a near daily basis.

It doesn't seem to matter whether your children are screaming on the grocery store floor and sitting angelically in the stroller. That comment is coming for you.

So you'll want to be prepared with a quick response. Whether you want to go heartwarming or snarky, you'll find the perfect response below. I think I'll be passing out this list to all my friends who announce they are expecting a second baby.

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Try:

1. "If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart!"

Or for a shorter version, just go with "So is my heart." And if you actually use this sweet phrase, you are a way better, nicer, kinder person than I am.

2. "Feel free to lend one!"

There seems to be an inverse correlation between people who comment on how full your hands are and how much they want to lend one to help you out.

3. "I could handle a dozen more!"

Mad props if you say this while your children are acting like possessed demons. Just smile like you can't even see the chaos that you live in.

4. "Better full than empty."

I love this one because it's snappy but still has a touch of sweetness.

5. "Would you like one of them?"

Guaranteed conversation ender right here. Use with caution.

6. "We're getting closer to our own baseball team."

Or, for extra credit, say something like "bowling team" because does anyone actually know how many people are on a bowling team? 2? 100?

7. "When they're this cute, how could we stop?"

Maybe not this one if your children have runny noses, dirty clothing and no shoes on. Or maybe that makes it even better.

8. "It's my best talent."

If you use this one, you have to swear to come back and comment with how they reacted.

9. "I know! I have no idea how this keeps happening."

Just make sure you are ready to accept the lecture on birth control that may follow.

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10. "I've never heard that before!"

When you just can't take it one more time. Bonus points if you deliver it with heartfelt sincerity and a fake laugh.

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