There are so many parenting books, self-help guides and mommy how-to's out there, but what if they were actually on subjects that reflect what parents really go through ALL the time? I'm talking about books that we could easily write ourselves. The titles might look at little something like this:
1. "You’re a Little Shit But I Love You Anyway (Sometimes)"
2. "You Ruined My Tits and Vagina and Now You’re Going to Pay for It : An Illustrated Guidebook of How I Spent Your First Year of College Savings Putting My Body Back Together."
3. "The Secrets Joy of Parenting: How to Use Wine and Prescription Pills to Tap Into Your Parenting Bliss"
4. "The Importance of Alone Time for Kids: Timeouts Aren't Just for When Kids Are Bad!"
5. "How to Ensure You're Rearing a Future Elitist: Tips to Secure Your Personal Financial Future or The Upsides of Boarding School Starting at Age 8"
6. "Get Your Creativity Back! Creative Ways to Thank Your Child for Making Your Masters in Fine Art a Total Waste of Time and Money: Because of You I Have Not Done One Creative Act Since I Birthed You"
7. "The Importance of Sleepaway Camp for Newborns"
8. "Get Your Own Fuckin' Milk! Teaching Toddlers How to Be Independent From the Get-Go!"
9. "You're a Little Bitch Already, WTF? How to Decode Early Onset Puberty"
10. "You've Already Fucked Your Kid Up for Life: How to Create a Financial Savings Plan for Your Child's Future Therapy Needs"
11. "Detachment Parenting: A Guidebook to Raising the Perfect Nanny"
12. "When to Tell Your Child They Were an Accident: How to Turn This Psychological Bomb Into a Tool of Warfare Against Their Future Partners #sympathy"