As a new mom, you need your squad.
In fact, you need an army of moms, non-moms and people who have your back at all times, including your pre-baby life friends. And they all need to be on What'sApp or whatever platform you do your texting on. Talking on the phone is so '90s, and everyone knows that you can be more honest via text message anyway. I maintained entire friendships via text the first few months of my son's life: there was no time to speak on phone, texting can happen all hours of the day or night and texting is basically silent, like all those tears my first days (weeks? months?) after giving birth.
So don't skimp on the squad. Get everyone's contact info at the baby shower and make sure you have one of each of these 5 people you will text constantly as a new mom.
The Mom Who Knows All The Cool Baby Gear
This mom is a professional mom. She has a diaper bag stocked with the coolest gear. She reads product reviews religiously, and she even has her list of must-have products for every stage. She can tell you that you don’t really need that diaper warmer, but if you insist that you need it, she can tell you where to find the best one and will even give you a coupon code. You need this mom to avoid unnecessary expenses and agonizing trips to the store that end up with you and the baby crying before you even get in the car. Because she is super mom, though, she might have boundaries around when she can text, so make you sure you reach out to her during appropriate hours.
The Person Who Reminds You That You Are Still A Person
This friend probably knew you before your clothes were full of spit-up and when you didn’t have permanent bags under your eyes. Maybe she's your old bestie, maybe he is the friend you used to hit happy hour with every afternoon. Whoever she is, she knows your life has changed and you can’t go the coolest restaurant on a moment’s notice and yet: she is still there for you. She offers to come babysit, even if you would never take her up on it. She might be sad that things have changed, but she knows transitions are a part of life, and so she reminds you that you are still beautiful, that while you are a mom now, you are a lot of other things, too. She will even post a #TBT photo in your honor, because there's nothing like seeing yourself gallivanting through NYC before you were a mom to remind you that you are still fabulous.
The Friend Who You Can Cry With
Listen, new moms have a lot of feelings, and we admit that we cannot unload all of them on our partners. You need the mom that you can cry to about nursing issues or when you fear you are doing motherhood all wrong (once a week in my case). She won’t judge you, and she knows tht your life isn’t always terrible but that you will have tough moments in motherhood. Bonus points for her if she can identify when you are just having momentary sadness, or if it is postpartum depression or anxiety. She also knows that sometimes you can’t talk out these feelings, and you need to send very long texts in the midst of tears. She always says, “Call me if you need to actually talk.”
The Baby Whisperer
This might be an experienced mom, maybe even your own mom. Essentially she knows how to cure colic and diaper rash. She's the person you text while on hold with the pediatrician, waiting to see if there's an opening for the doctor to see your child. She has answers to all your questions and is always on call. She seems to never sleep, and you like it that way. Especially, in the first few months when you have no idea what you are doing. And you're also not sleeping (2 a.m. is a very lonely time).
Your Partner/Husband/ Significant Other/ Co-Parent
We respect that we all have different arrangements in our lives. This is the person you are raising your child with—maybe it’s a parent, a relative or your romantic partner. Whoever they are, you need to text them constantly. The baby does so many cute things that you need to send minute-by-minute updates, snaps and photos. You also need this person to share moments of frustration and text things like, “ He POOPED!” Because in case you didn’t already know your child’s bowel movements will become a constant topic of conversation in your house now.
Raising a child really does take a village! Don’t ever feel like you have to do it alone. But don't ever try to do it without a phone.