Kids say the darndest
things, sure. But you know who else says some pretty ridiculous things? Parents,
to their kids. So, I asked real moms to share the most ridiculous thing they
have said to their kids, and I compiled them all here for your enjoyment. So
grab some popcorn and judge away. Or nod in solidarity. I’d prefer the latter.
“I’m always asking, 'Is
that poop or chocolate?' My advice is to never taste. Ever. Even if you’re like
99% sure. Not good enough. Smelling is always the way to go.” – Kayla C.
"My daughter is a
sensory seeker. I'm always having to tell her to stop putting things in her
mouth that are not at all appropriate. 'Stop licking the park bench' is
definitely something I’ve said on more than one occasion.” – Sally J.
"I have three
boys. I think the most common phrase that comes out of my mouth is something
along the lines of, 'Don’t eat that dirt!'" – Natalie R.
Please don’t touch your face with your poop hand!
“I utter the phrase, 'What
are you eating? No seriously, what is in your mouth?' at least 20 times a day.
Probably more.” – Jessie M.
“My son is obsessed
with pulling off his pants. We’re potty training and he thinks it’s just so fun
to be pants-free. I’m always having to yell at him to pull his pants up and
leave them up!” – Renee G.
fielding the most ridiculous requests for food that I don’t even notice how
strange the combinations are any more. The other day I said to my toddler, 'Sure
sweetie, peanut butter on your macaroni and cheese sounds delicious!' Because really, any food at all sounds delicious when he refuses to eat half
the time anyway! As long as it’s edible, I say go for it!” – Katie R.
“I have four boys. For
anyone who doesn’t have boys or know boys, they are obsessed with touching
their privates. I have to tell them to 'stop touching their giblets' at least
once every five minutes.” – Margo S.
diapers, I constantly say 'Please don’t grab your poo!' Then, when my request
is denied, 'Please don’t touch your face with your poop hand!' is generally used
as a follow-up.” – Claire M.
“I just had a baby,
and am always having to remind my son that she is his sister, and not a rag
doll. We’re still working on the whole being gentle thing. We’ll get there…
Right?” – Melissa P.
“About my wine: 'No
honey, you can’t have that, it’s poison. Mommy can drink it because she is
immune.' She’ll magically become immune on her 21st birthday!” –