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New Moms Share What They Really Needed After Having A Baby

Photograph by Twenty20

When I first came from the hospital with my baby my support pretty much consisted of food being brought over and lots of friends and family visiting to keep me company. Both of these seem to be your run-of-the-mill new mom help and were greatly appreciated, but I was curious what other moms thought were the best forms of support they received while caring for a newborn feeling vulnerable, exhausted and emotional.

So I went straight to my mom friends to get the down and dirty:

"I always felt better after commiserating with other moms, like telling me how bad it hurt to sit down after delivery and for how long! We also had vent sessions about the difficulties of breastfeeding." - Kate R.

"After a week of being home, I felt like I was never going to be able to leave the house again between my nipples killing me and my bottom being so bruised. I was crying on the phone to my sister pretending I was fine, but she ended up texting my mom to bring me Epsom salts and fast food. It was the little things I didn’t even ask for, but my friends and family just knew what I needed." - Allie R.

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"My husband took care of our other two boys and all the household duties so I could focus on our twins while nursing and pumping. I would have been so screwed without him." - Katie C.

"In those early days, I would frequently wear only a t-shirt with my belly band on with underwear. I was so sleep-deprived that I wouldn’t even think to finish dressing myself before company came over and my mom, who was staying with us, would always remind me to put some clothes on!" - Miranda D.

I would say the number one help was being left alone to figure out our own schedule and how to do things by ourselves.

"My mom slaved away in my kitchen making me the most delicious homemade lactation cookies. I can't remember how many dozen she made, but they were delicious and helped my milk come in faster." - Ann F.

"I got a mom care package. Gift certificates for a massage and facial, with bubble bath and body products. I had family members take our son out for some fun so he didn’t feel left out. Also, coffee. I had several friends just pop in with a hot latte, hand it to me, and leave. That was incredible." - Celina H.

"My husband was my rock during those first few weeks. He fielded visitors who overstayed their welcome. He made me feel good about putting our daughter first and would encourage me to take breaks with visitors to go nurse her. He had an amazing way of calming our baby, so when I was at the end of my rope, he didn’t even hesitate to take over." - Devon S.

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"I got a ton of breastfeeding support from the lactation nurses via phone calls after I got home. I also got a lot of support simply by watching a lot of TV to keep me distracted from the hot mess of a life I had, adjusting to having two kids right around Christmas!"- Aleesha C.

"I had no choice but to exclusively pump with my baby, so my mom and husband always made sure I had clean pump parts. At that point in time, I was pumping ten times a day. That was huge because I was already emotional about having to pump and supplement." - Kristen R.

"I would say the number one help was being left alone to figure out our own schedule and how to do things by ourselves. I had my village that was available, but we used their advice and made it our own." - Heather S.

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