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The Alternative to 'Mom'

Photograph by Getty Images

I receive a lot of criticism because of my wayward ways. Other young professionals don't get why I never made it my mission to flourish in a career as a writer at a national publication, instead choosing to become a blogger. It often elicits a shocked response when I reveal that I am a black woman who is an atheist. And even I don't understand how I can claim to be bisexual, yet I never date and am afraid of relationships.

It may seem I am intentionally trying to go against the grain, but that is not true. I happen to have developed my tastes and beliefs over time, like a sculptor chipping away at rock to reveal its magnificence. I bet you can guess based on my aforementioned personality traits that I am not much of a mom-ly mom. But that doesn't mean I'm not a good mom.

RELATED: Is Mommy Blogging Making Me a Bad Mom?

Here's where I may differ from the moms you meet on the playground:

I live nearly 3,000 miles away from my children.

My two sons live with their father in Florida, and my career as a blogger and women's empowerment teacher has led me to the West Coast.

I don't fit in with the ladies at the bake sales.

I don't cook or clean. I hate them both. I don't belong in the kitchen, and the Chatty Cathys at bake sales bore me.

I hate play dates and attending kid parties.

I hated it when my kids wanted to go play with the neighbors and I had to go with them. I don't do small talk, and I am not about to reveal my life story for your amusement when I get paid to write it. I don't yearn to engage with other moms.

RELATED: What Not to Say to LGBT Parents

I check out chicks with my sons.

When I hang out with my sons in a public place, I tease them by checking out women and rating their beauty.

I'm single and not interested in being married.

There will be no "Uncles" or "Aunties" marching in and out of my sons' lives. The one time I brought up the possibility of me getting married one day, my younger son raised his fist and said, "Finally!" I then gave him a stern look and assured him, "I'm not obligated, so I won't do it if I don't want to."

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