I receive a lot of criticism because of my wayward ways.
Other young professionals don't get why I never made it my mission to flourish
in a career as a writer at a national publication, instead choosing to become a
blogger. It often elicits a shocked response
when I reveal that I am a black woman who is an atheist. And even I don't
understand how I can claim to be bisexual, yet I never date and am afraid of
It may seem I am intentionally trying to go against the
grain, but that is not true. I happen to have developed my tastes and beliefs
over time, like a sculptor chipping away at rock to reveal its magnificence. I
bet you can guess based on my aforementioned personality traits that I am not
much of a mom-ly mom. But that doesn't mean I'm not a good mom.
Here's where I may differ from the moms you meet on the playground:
I live nearly 3,000
miles away from my children.
My two sons live with their father in Florida, and my career
as a blogger and women's empowerment teacher has led me to the West Coast.
I don't fit in with
the ladies at the bake sales.
I don't cook or clean. I hate them both. I don't belong in
the kitchen, and the Chatty Cathys at bake sales bore me.
I hate play dates and
attending kid parties.
I hated it when my kids wanted to go play with the neighbors
and I had to go with them. I don't do small talk, and I am not about to reveal
my life story for your amusement when I get paid to write it. I don't yearn to engage with other moms.
When I hang out with my sons in a public place, I tease them
by checking out women and rating their beauty.
I'm single and not
interested in being married.
There will be no "Uncles" or "Aunties" marching in and out of my sons' lives. The one
time I brought up the possibility of me getting married one day, my younger son
raised his fist and said, "Finally!" I then gave him a stern look and assured
him, "I'm not obligated, so I won't do it if I don't want to."