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10 Tips for Babysitters

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I don’t have regular help with my boys who are now 5 and 10. When they were babies I was too much of a control freak to ever have someone help for more than a few hours a day and, no surprise, it’s hard to find a legitimate nanny who only wants to work 10 hours a week. Especially with the mom in the other room “typing,” but really monitoring everything you say and do.

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So we’ve filled in date night and occasional other absences with babysitters. There's one in particular whom we love, Lauren. Like many in my babysitting pool, Lauren is a comic/actress. She has an infectious laugh, a no-nonsense disciplining style I love and she also works at a high-end bakery so we had the added perk of family discounts on state-of-the-art birthday cakes!

But, alas, Lauren has met her true love, a Navy guy, and is getting married and leaving for Vegas in a few weeks. So my search began for a replacement Lauren. It’s been an unmitigated disaster. So I thought, in light of the summer season, and college kids home and available for child care, perhaps if there were a list we could all hand them for what not to do, then we all might have more success gainfully employing the future of America at everyone’s favorite summer survival job. Print and post where you see fit.

10 things Parents Don't Want to Hear You Say or See You Holding in Your Hand When You Come Into Our Home to Babysit:

1. "Sorry I'm 25 minutes late! I guess I didn't plan right. I'm not really good at planning. HA!"

2. "I'll probably be asleep on the couch when you get home, I'm REALLY tired."

3. A flask.

4. "Your husband is really HOT."

5. "Your daughter is really HOT."

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6. Visine, mints and Doritos.

7. "I usually get $25 an hour."

8. "Do you have a washer/dryer somewhere?"

9. Texting while my child is talking to you. I've got that covered.

10. "They said they didn't have a bedtime."

Any tips to add?

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