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7 Reasons Lorelai Gilmore Is My Single Momspiration

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“How are you in the kitchen?” My computer screen asked. I checked off letter D, “I’m more of a take-out kind of cook,” before moving on to the next question.

It was one of those stupid Facebook quizzes, this one titled “Which TV Mom Are You?" This is the kind of thing I would normally avoid completely, because ain’t no mama got time for that nonsense, but … I was tired. The kind of tired that leaves you plastered exactly where you are, scrolling mindlessly through the Internet because the act of standing up and getting yourself to bed just seems like far too much to contemplate. And so, I was taking this quiz, answering honestly enough, but not really caring about the end result.

I figured I was going to wind up with something dumb, like some random cartoon character I had never heard of.

So imagine my surprise when I got to the end, and the quiz told me I was exactly who I have always wanted to be: Lorelai Gilmore!

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Seriously, this made my entire night. I mean, if we’re talking about single mothers, it really doesn’t get much better than Lorelai. And the Rory-Lorelai mother-daughter relationship, fictional as it may be, is pretty much the stuff that parenting dreams are made of. Which is why Lorelai is, and always has been, my single momspiration.

With "The Gilmore Girls" set to release on Netflix Instant in just a week (you read that right: October 1st!) I thought now would be the perfect time to review all the reasons why I want to be just like Lorelai when I (and my daughter) grow up.

1. Sacrifice

We are talking about a woman who, at 16 years old, left behind the money she had grown up with and the comfort she was used to purely because she believed there had to be a better way to raise her daughter. And she made it work! First by getting herself a job as a maid at an inn nearby, living in the small cottage on site and working her way up to management. She proved every step of the way that she could sacrifice for her daughter. And then, when something came up that was more than she could handle on her own (paying for Rory’s private school tuition) she sacrificed again – going to her parents and asking for help, despite how difficult it was for her to do so. She did what she needed to do so that her daughter could have everything she needed in order to succeed. I only hope I am capable of doing the same.

2. Passion

I like to think it is an example I set for my daughter each day by pursuing this passion of mine for writing.

Lorelai was the kind of mom who really led by example, showing her daughter that women can (and should) chase their dreams. She worked for years to have an inn of her own, finally able to see that dream realized as a result of hard work and believing in herself. Every little girl should grow up with that kind of role model, and I like to think it is an example I set for my daughter each day as well by pursuing this passion of mine for writing rather than sitting in an office all day at a job I hate.

3. The Value of Good Friends

I’m a big believer in the fact that the people you surround yourself with say a lot about who you are, and there aren’t many better friends than Suki. From an early age, Rory grew up watching her mom surround herself with genuine, quality people — people who also served important roles in Rory’s life. That’s pretty special when you think about it. And it makes me extra thankful for the amazing friends I have been blessed to bring into our family as well.

4. Open

Lorelai was the kind of mom Rory could talk to about anything, even when it was hard or scary or uncomfortable. Their relationship was built on that level of honesty, an openness that I think probably accounted for why Rory was such a good kid. I can only hope to instill the same kind of open door policy with my daughter as she grows older. I want her to always know I am there for her to talk to.

5. Capable of Expressing Disappointment

As soon as Rory needed her mother, Lorelai was there.

Being available and easy to talk to didn’t mean Lorelai was the kind of mom who pretended as though bad behavior was acceptable. When Rory slept with a married man, her mom made her disappointment clear – not in an unloving way, but in the way a good parent should when his or her child starts to fall off track. Granted, Rory was in a bit of a tailspin by that point, and this expression of disapproval led to the longest fight the mother and daughter would have. But as soon as Rory needed her mother, Lorelai was there; the past swept under the rug with a fierce hug and a few tears.

6. Fun

Let’s be real, Lorelai was a fun mom. Upbeat and enthusiastic, she was always up for another adventure with her daughter. Whether they were traveling Europe together or staying in for another night of takeout and old movies, Lorelai was the kind of mom you would want to have around. And as I envision the adventures ahead for my daughter and I, I can’t help but smile at the possibility of one day being the same — of my daughter totally being the Rory to my Lorelai.

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7. Lessons on Love

Because of the lessons learned from her mother, Rory had the confidence to walk away and pursue her own path.

Lorelai was willing to wait for love. She had options, but she didn’t want to settle. And she didn’t need to be rescued. So many women today don’t know how to be alone, but Lorelai was just fine on her own. And when she and Luke finally did end up together, it was because they were right. At the same time, Rory was realizing her own relationship wasn’t right. And because of the lessons learned from her mother, she had the confidence to walk away and pursue her own path, to chase her own dreams. I kind of loved that. And I hope it is the same message I send to my daughter every day, as the two of us forge our own path together — both of us open to the idea of Mr. Right, but not willing to accept anything less than what we deserve.

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