“How are you in the kitchen?” My
computer screen asked. I checked off letter D, “I’m more of a take-out kind of
cook,” before moving on to the next question.
It was one of those stupid Facebook quizzes, this one titled
TV Mom Are You?" This is the kind of thing I would normally avoid
completely, because ain’t no mama got time for that nonsense, but … I was tired.
The kind of tired that leaves you plastered exactly where you are, scrolling mindlessly
through the Internet because the act of standing up and getting yourself to bed
just seems like far too much to contemplate. And so, I was taking this quiz, answering honestly enough, but not really caring about the end result.
I figured I was going to wind up with something dumb, like
some random cartoon character I had never heard of.
So imagine my surprise when I got to the end, and the quiz
told me I was exactly who I have always wanted to be: Lorelai Gilmore!
Seriously, this made my entire night. I mean, if we’re talking
about single mothers, it really doesn’t get much better than Lorelai. And the
Rory-Lorelai mother-daughter relationship, fictional as it may be, is pretty
much the stuff that parenting dreams are made of. Which is why Lorelai is, and
always has been, my single momspiration.
With "The Gilmore
Girls" set to release on Netflix Instant in just a week (you read that right:
October 1st!) I thought now would be the perfect time to review all
the reasons why I want to be just
like Lorelai when I (and my daughter) grow up.
We are talking about a woman
who, at 16 years old, left behind the money she had grown up with and the
comfort she was used to purely because she believed there had to be a better
way to raise her daughter. And she made it work! First by getting herself a job as
a maid at an inn nearby, living in the small cottage on site and working her
way up to management. She proved every step of the way that she could sacrifice
for her daughter. And then, when something came up that was more than she could
handle on her own (paying for Rory’s private school tuition) she sacrificed
again – going to her parents and asking for help, despite how difficult it was
for her to do so. She did what she needed to do so that her daughter could have
everything she needed in order to succeed. I only hope I am capable of doing
I like to think it is an example I set for my daughter each day by pursuing this passion of mine for writing.
Lorelai was the kind of mom
who really led by example, showing her daughter that women can (and should) chase
their dreams. She worked for years to have an inn of her own, finally able to
see that dream realized as a result of hard work and believing in herself.
Every little girl should grow up with that kind of role model, and I like to
think it is an example I set for my daughter each day as well by pursuing this
passion of mine for writing rather than sitting in an office all day at a job I
3.The Value of Good Friends
I’m a big
believer in the fact that the people you surround yourself with say a lot about
who you are, and there aren’t many better friends than Suki. From an early age,
Rory grew up watching her mom surround herself with genuine, quality people — people who also served important roles in Rory’s life. That’s pretty special
when you think about it. And it makes me extra thankful for the amazing friends
I have been blessed to bring into our family as well.
Lorelai was the kind of mom Rory
could talk to about anything, even when it was hard or scary or uncomfortable.
Their relationship was built on that level of honesty, an openness that I think
probably accounted for why Rory was such a good kid. I can only hope to instill
the same kind of open door policy with my daughter as she grows older. I want
her to always know I am there for her to talk to.
5.Capable of Expressing Disappointment
As soon as Rory needed her mother, Lorelai was there.
available and easy to talk to didn’t mean Lorelai was the kind of mom who
pretended as though bad behavior was acceptable. When Rory slept with a
married man, her mom made her disappointment clear – not in an unloving way,
but in the way a good parent should
when his or her child starts to fall off track. Granted, Rory was in a bit of a
tailspin by that point, and this expression of disapproval led to the longest
fight the mother and daughter would have. But as
soon as Rory needed her mother, Lorelai was there; the past swept under the rug
with a fierce hug and a few tears.
Let’s be real, Lorelai was a fun mom. Upbeat and enthusiastic, she was always up for another adventure
with her daughter. Whether they were traveling Europe together or staying in
for another night of takeout and old movies, Lorelai was the kind of mom you
would want to have around. And as I envision the adventures ahead for my
daughter and I, I can’t help but smile at the possibility of one day being the
same — of my daughter totally being the Rory to my Lorelai.
Because of the lessons learned from her mother, Rory had the confidence to walk away and pursue her own path.
Lorelai was willing to
wait for love. She had options, but she didn’t want to settle. And she didn’t
need to be rescued. So many women today don’t know how to be alone, but Lorelai
was just fine on her own. And when she and Luke finally did end up together, it
was because they were right. At the same time, Rory was realizing her own
relationship wasn’t right. And
because of the lessons learned from her mother, she had the confidence to walk
away and pursue her own path, to chase her own dreams. I kind of loved that. And I
hope it is the same message I send to my daughter every day, as the two of us
forge our own path together — both of us open to the idea of Mr. Right, but not willing to
accept anything less than what we deserve.