I know it’s hard to believe that the daughter of Kim
Kardashian and Kanye West could have anything on her Christmas list, but I
do. Don’t get me wrong, last year’s
gifts were amazing. What toddler
wouldn’t want a Maserati and her own island in the Caribbean? Sure, I asked for
a puppy and a pair of footie pajamas, but I got a shearling coat and a diamond
tiara instead. Those gifts were amazeballs, so I’d hate for you to think of me
as ungrateful, but this year I’ve actually got a few new things to add to my
See, Santa, when you’re a celebrity’s baby like me, you can actually buy anything
you want anytime you want it. Dad’s one
of the most famous rappers in the world and Mom nearly broke the Internet with
her bum-bum. I wasn’t just born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I was born
with a black Amex in my hand. I can buy
anything I want, except a normal childhood.
So this year Santa, I’m asking for just that. I want to be a
normal kid. Here’s my list:
A Plane Ticket in
While I’m stuck alone on a G5 with just Mom, Dad and my new nanny,
Uncle Rob, civilian babies get to fly across the country in a huge plane filled
with tons of other kids. It’s like a play date in the sky! While I’m flying to
Gstaad or Bilboa, those normal kids get to sit in coach and drink non-organic
apple juice while playing “let’s see if I can break this” with the food tray on
the seat back in front of them. I want
in on that action!
I don’t want to fly private and listen to Mom and Dad sing
“Golddigger” over and over again to keep me from getting bored while we cross
the Atlantic. I wouldn’t be so bored if I could sit with some other kids in
coach, get sneezed on by a non-famous kid who doesn’t know he has strep while
we mash Goldfish crackers into the seat cushion. Flying coach is like a kid party in the clouds
and I don’t want to miss out by flying on a private jet with Mom, Dad, their 13
assistants and all 42 of Mom’s siblings.
Make it happen, Santa. I’m counting on you!
I realize there’s really only one thing I really want for Christmas this year and that’s the same thing every other kid wants: more time with just mom and dad.
calfskin leggings are too hot and my mink hoodie is very hard to clean. Maybe this year I could get some things made
of cotton that don’t cost more than some people’s homes. That way, if I get them
dirty, I won’t hear Mommy weep.
Friends My Own Age
It was so cool seeing the new
Givenchy collection from the front row, but it would be even cooler to see the
Peppa Pig marathon on TV. Maybe this
year, the grown-ups could do grown-up stuff and I could do kid stuff with kids
my own age. And no, listening to Mom
chat with Anna Wintour doesn’t count as a play date for me.
Actually, Santa, as I review the rest of my list, I realize
there’s really only one thing I really want for Christmas this year and that’s
the same thing every other kid wants: more time with just Mom and Dad. It may
seem cool to fly private or wear designer baby duds, but it’s even cooler when
Mom and Dad put down their iPhones, say good-bye to the cameras and just hang
out with me. So this year, I’m asking
for some simple, silly family moments with Mom and Dad, and no one else. I’ll probably
get a baby cheetah instead. But family time's all any kid really wants, even me.