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Former 'Bachelorette' Ashley Hebert Talks Parenthood

Photograph by Instagram

Even after the cameras have stopped rolling, former star of "The Bachelorette" Ashley Hebert is still crazy about her choice of J. P. Rosenbaum, whom she married in December 2012.

Since then, Hebert has given birth to son Fordham, and the couple is now an adorable trio.

Hebert and Rosenbaum chatted recently with Wonderwall.com about everything from parenting surprises to lasting relationships formed on reality TV.

How did you prepare for parenthood?

Ashley: "First off, I got books for J. P. and of course they sat by his nightstand and he never even opened them! But you can't really prepare until you're in it. We took a lactation class and a newborn class. But we're really learning as we go."

What has been one of the most surprising things that's come up?

Ashley: "For me, it was how difficult breastfeeding was at first. How physically challenging it was. I thought it was going to be a seamless process. It was really painful for a period of time."

Do you plan on having more kids soon or will you wait a while?

J. P.: "We always figured that around two years is good space between. My brother and I are two years apart. That's our barometer, I guess."

There aren't many couples from both "The Bachelorette" and "The Bachelor" that have really lasted like you two have. Do you still have faith in the show's system?

J. P.: "Yeah, I think so. Honestly I don't look at it any different than relationships in real life. Before I met Ashley I went through my share of relationships, and my percentage was a lot worse than 'The Bachelor.' It really was just the catalyst for how we met. Why can't it be the start of somebody else's love story? It absolutely can. But it's just like life: odds are not in favor of it."

Ashley: "The show feeds into everybody's desires. Everyone wants a little bit of crazy, a little bit of drama. But they have this hope that there will be love in the end."

J. P.: "But we have faith in the process for sure."

What has been the key to sustaining a healthy relationship?

J. P.: "Must have an awesome husband!" (laughs)

Ashley: "I think just being a team and having each other's backs. Having a kid, it really challenges that, but it's taught us to be more of a team. Not to say that anything is bad between us, but I haven't been good at making time for our relationship. You really have to make time for your husband because your brain is going to be 125 percent baby."

J. P.: "Team player, compromise and communication. Those are huge. Men are not mind readers."

Has Fordham brought you closer?

Ashley: "Definitely! When you see this little face that is a compilation of you and your husband, it brings you closer together."

J. P.: "We were always pretty much on the same page. I think that is part of the reason it worked out. But with a child, whatever you may not have been on the same page about before, you are clearly on the same page now. Your No. 1 priority is him. I feel that closeness with Ashley. Our interests are 100 percent aligned."

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