Ever since the age of 8, I've wanted one female celebrity or
another for my own best friend. Over the years, it's ranged from Molly Ringwald
to Winona Ryder to Tina Fey (showing my age, I know). And then,
Hollywood gave me the bodacious, frank, unselfconscious Amy Schumer. I'd seen
snippets of her comedy here and there, but the moment I saw her parody "booty"
video, "Milk, Milk, Lemonade" I knew that I'd found the one: my perfect best
Not only does she get me, with her self-deprecating deflection of the
absurd standards of popular culture, being friends with her will make me a
better mom for the following reasons:
1. She calls it like she sees it without fear of retribution
there any more powerful lesson you can teach a child than speaking truthfully
about things they don't feel are right? Whether it's inequality, sexism or
just calling out a bully, Amy's frank style of truth-telling as my best friend will help me reinforce these lessons
for my son.
As the mother of a
boy, admittedly I fear the sex talk in the future—but Amy reminds me that young
people are growing up with fewer hang ups and more comfort in their own
sexuality. Talking to my son openly and frankly will be necessary not only for
his own enlightenment, but so that he can behave responsibly in a time when
rape culture is rampant. With Amy as my friend, we'll probably just make a
music video together that will go viral.
3. She reveres older women
If there's one thing kids always
need, no matter what decade, it's more respect for their elders. Not "just
because I said so," but because, as Amy makes clear in her adoration of
actresses like Julia Louise-Dreyfus, Tina Fey and Patricia Arquette in her "Last
Fu*kable Day" sketch, we have a lot to learn from those who came before us. Amy
will help remind me to reinforce this point to my son and remind me to stay
humble with my own elders.
4. She has a positive body image
With Amy as my friend, not only will I remember to be kind to my own body, but I can teach my son that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
Not only does Amy talk
positively about her own body (though she's honest about her struggles), she makes no effort to whittle herself down to a
starving Hollywood standard. With Amy as my friend, not only will I remember to
be kind to my own body, but I can teach my son that beauty comes in all shapes
and sizes and to look for the person who stimulates his heart and intellect
first (and hopefully makes him laugh).
5. She talks about poop
Moms know that for every moment of
love and meaning that our children provide, there are 10 more unrewarding moments,
many of them full of bodily fluids. Amy doesn't shy away from talking about the
reality of living in a body that poops, snorts, farts, bleeds and more, a
healthy reminder to our children that bodily functions are normal, healthy and
shouldn't be hidden. With Amy as my friend I'll never coyly downplay my period or shame my child for farting loudly.
6. She's young
There's a lot to learn from the young. But
Amy, who is a decade younger than me, will also remind me to listen to the
youth—my son included—to take him seriously instead of butting heads over
rebellions or idealism.
7. She uses humor to discuss tough situations
popularity has proven, people respond to humor sometimes more rapidly than a
serious discussion. As an already uptight person, with Amy as my best friend, I
will loosen up, laugh at myself and find ways to talk about difficult subjects
with my child in ways that make us both laugh.
Even if she doesn't choose me as her best friend, I'm glad
Amy Schumer is here to comically expose the absurdity of unrealistic standards
that all of us are pressured to live by, to present the world with an image of a beautiful woman who isn't just a mannequin, and to boost my mood at the end of a tough day.