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The Afflecks Need to Stay Together, But Not for the Kids

Photograph by Getty Images

Of the 3,000 ice bucket challenges I watched last summer, theirs was my favorite. How cute were Jennifer and Ben when they tumbled into the pool together? And there is no celebrity offspring cuter than that Violet Affleck with her colored glasses and pensive seriousness.

Ben and Jennifer. They feel like beloved friends who happen to not know that I exist. When I saw the news of their alleged break up last night, I was way more upset than I had any right to be. Honestly, I haven't been this upset since Julia Roberts and Benjamin Bratt split back in 2001.

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We all know marriage is hard, and as much as I feel like I know the Afflecks, of course I don't. It's utterly wrong for me to want them to stay together. I won't even pretend I want them to stay together for the sake of their three children. I'm not even sure that staying together for children is still a thing in 2015.

I want them to be the Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward of our generation. I want them to go the distance like Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson.

I want them to stay together for me. I want to watch them grow old together. I want to watch them tear up when they watch each other accept lifetime achievement awards. I want them to be the Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward of our generation. I want them to go the distance like Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson.

I sure don't want to see them call it quits on the eve of their 10th wedding anniversary.

Jen and Ben seem so damn normal. Remember when Jen went on Ellen and said she would always have a baby bump, not because she was pregnant, but because that's how her stomach is after three pregnancies? She's the celebrity mom I relate to, the antidote to super-skinny Angelina Jolie, Kelly Ripa, Kate Hudson, etc. She loves her mother and her sisters. She had her babies on American soil. She's an everywoman, except she's also a gorgeous, philanthropic celebrity.

I feel like I get her.

I should want what's best for her and accept that maybe what's best is a parting of ways for her and Ben. It's selfish of me to hope they will show up on Jimmy Fallon tonight laughing about the rumors of their split.

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For the record, if it turns out the news is true, I'm on team Jennifer all the way. (I'm still holding a grudge against Ben for "Gigli" and that crazy interview he and J. Lo did for Dateline in September 2009.) In all honesty, I had a hard time seeing that he was worthy of Ms. Garner's devotion, though his turn in "Argo" softened my heart toward him. I came around, and now the thought of seeing Jen by year's end having coffee with Jake Gyllenhaal or Bradley Cooper wracks me with nostalgia.

Here's hoping that Ben and Jen can pull through this rough patch or part ways amicably. In the meantime, I'm going to keep scouring the Internet for a statement that this is all a big mix-up.

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