"BattleBots" will be lighting up TV screens across the country when a new season returns Friday, May 11, on the Discovery Channel (Wednesday, May 16, on Science Channel), and while the competition show focuses on robots that face off against each other in a metal-on-metal duel, we couldn't help but think of how similar these types of robots are to toddler tantrums.
Which one reminds you of your toddler?
The Grabber: Bite Force
Grappling is this BattleBot's speciality. It kind of reminds you of this familiar situation: Your older daughter has brazenly taken one of your toddler son's blocks, holding it just out of reach while laughing at her little brother's emotional pain. Ah, siblings. Instead of politely asking for it back, your toddler son grabs her arm and pulls. Hard. Over and over. All while screaming, of course. Kind of like those slot machines in Las Vegas—the one where you pull the cowboy's arm and hopefully get straight sevens and a gold rush of coins. Oh wait, now your daughter's screaming. Vegas fantasies will have to wait.
The Launcher: Bronco
Of course there are those kids who lie down on the floor and kick and scream. But there are others who just launch toys right at you, your spouse, your other children or basically any moving object that blocks their path. "Incoming!" you hear yourself shouting before diving behind the couch. Is this a BattleBot, or your 3-year-old?
Photograph by Daniel Longmire
The Hybrid: Ultimo Destructo
Ultimo Destructo, one of the BattleBots that fits in the "hybrid" category, is armed with a spinning blade and a hammer. Not only that, but it can also flip opponents. Just like little Johnny, but only when you're in line at Target. Not only can he pick up every single box of gum, Skittles and Flamin' Hot Cheetos that are at his eye level, he can also tip over said boxes while tossing his snack-filled booty into the cart while you're picking up your dignity along with scattered bags of chips.
The Spinner: Tombstone
That Whirling Dervish over there? Yeah, that's your kid. Just when you think you can simply take her hand and walk her to another aisle, or another store, she spins just out of reach and then laughs at you. When you finally tire of cajoling, smiling and making high-pitched baby talk noises in an effort to coax her back over to you, you finally give in and pick her up—right as she decides to go boneless.
The Crushing Lifter: Overhaul
This particular BattleBot is able to pick up rival robots, turn them on their heads and—in some cases—light them on fire. If your toddler does this, he might need his own show. Or he might be the Terminator.
The new series, which is produced by Mom.me parent company Whalerock Industries, airs on Fridays at 8 p.m. on Discovery Channel and Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Science Channel.