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10 Things Disney Princes Do That Real Men Can't Get Away With

With the recent release the "real life" Disney Princes by uber-talented Australian artist Jirka Väätäinen, I couldn't help but take a moment (other than being totally freaked out that Aladdin very creepily resembles my brother!) to ponder what would happen if all of those magical Disney moments between the infamous princesses and their men were real.

And I realized that a lot of them would definitely not pass the test of real-life relationships, no matter how cut those abs seem to be.

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1. Not recognizing your girl with legs

I mean, really, Eric. Get your head out of the water because fin turning into legs really didn't change how she looked, you know what I'm saying?

2. Keeping a fancy-schmany rose all to yourself

If you're man enough to get yourself a flower, be a man enough to share the love, k?

3. Stalking a woman alone in the forest

Not cool, Prince Phillip. Not cool.

(Side note: is it just me or is fake-real Prince Phillip kind of hot??)

4. Kissing a sleeping beauty

I'm pretty sure I don't even need to go there with this one, thanks to a certain man who doesn't deserve to be named and also who has ruined Jell-O for me for life.

5. Wooing your woman with food

So you think a 50-course meal with endless, flowing champagne and desserts that I could only dream of will work to entice me, huh? Oh, wait, this one is actually good. Beast: 1, Woman: 0.

6. Needing that much encouragement to kiss the girl

The singing frogs are a little much, let's be honest.

7. Having better hair than your woman

I learned two things from the Disney Prince reveal: that the Beast's real name might or might not be "Prince Adam" and that he has better imagined hair than I will ever, ever have. And that's just not a desirable feature in a man in a relationship with a woman whose hair preferences range from "stylish bun" to "haven't washed my hair in four days" bun.

8. Falling in love without the foresight to grab her name

Granted, she looked good and we've all had our head-over-heels (one heel?) moments. But Prince Charming had all the way until midnight to at least acquire the lady's name. And let's not gloss over the fact that there may be some underlying foot fetish thing going on here …

9. Thinking you're god's gift to women

We get it, Hercules. The bronzed skin, the perfectly sculpted cheekbones, the translucent glow that seems to accompany your very aura—you think you're god's gift to women. Except, oh wait, you really are a gift from the gods.

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10. Being best friends with a monkey

It was a little weird even when Ross did it on "Friends" and it's a little weird for you, too, Aladdin. Lose the monkey BFF, but perhaps keep the kind genie in your back pocket.

Images via Jirka Väätäinen

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