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Hey Chrissy Teigen, I Had a Hot Nanny and It Didn't Kill Me

Chrissy Teigen is in hot water for making a comment that she will never have any "hot nannies, drivers or maids." This is the same super-gorgeous Chrissy Teigan who has long, luscious tresses, impossibly chiseled cheekbones and a banging body. Oh, and she goes home to superstar crooner and husband John Legend every night.

In the wake of the news that Ben Affleck allegedly started up a romance with his children's nanny, following his split from America's sweetheart Jennifer Garner, Teigen joked that she wouldn't hire a nanny who was also a looker.

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While Teigen insists she was joking about her "hot nanny ban," and she's known for being authentic and wise-cracking—recall that she once got in trouble for revealing that she likes to lick the cheese off Doritos for a "low-carb snack"—there may be some truth in her joke.

Unsurprisingly to anyone on social media, people were offended by her comment. While the outrage baffles me—I mean, who was she insulting? Physically attractive caregivers? Her husband? Men in general because she's insinuating they cannot possibly control their sexual urges?—I want to side with Chrissy on this one. Having a hot nanny has its challenges.

I know because I had one.

It was disorienting to come home to my baby being cuddled by a member of a super-species of gorgeous women as I dragged my breast pump through the front door.

She was in her early 20s, always punctual and willing to help my daughter get through those agonizing tummy time exercises. She was also one of the hottest women I'd ever seen. Picture Cameron Diaz and Kiera Knightly having a love child. That was my nanny.

Did I mention that my husband worked from home?

Meanwhile, I had to stuff my bloated postpartum body into pants that didn't exactly fit so much as strain at every last seam. My breasts were leaking and my hormones were still way out of whack. It was disorienting to come home to my baby being cuddled by a member of a super-species of gorgeous women as I dragged my breast pump through the front door.

I wasn't worried about my marriage. I trust my husband, so I never feared he would be overcome with desire and leave me for our hot nanny. (Given our daughter's abysmal sleeping habits, I knew he was too tired for an affair anyway.) It was more that having to hand my child over to someone else was hard enough. That she was physically superior to me in every single way made it just that much harder.

But I hired her because she was the best candidate for the job. And I'm a feminist so I knew I shouldn't be rating myself against the woman I hired to manage my daughter's nap schedule. (Let's be clear: I did plenty of rating, feminist or not.)

No, the real issue with hiring a hot nanny isn't adultery. It's that she might leave your family on short notice when she gets a modeling gig for Victoria's Secret. That's what happened to us. Our nanny got a call one day that the job was hers if she wanted it, and if she was willing to relocate to L.A. immediately.

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Of course we wished her well and started a search for a new nanny. Our next nanny was a sweet retired grandmother who'd raised six kids of her own. It most definitely was not a reaction to our previous nanny's physical flawlessness. What can I say? She was the best candidate for the job.

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